The Fantastic Four! Several Key Areas I Will Be Praying For In My Future Marriage As I Fast

As I continue to prepare for my fast for my future wife, I have decided to focus on four key areas of our marriage

1) Grace-The foundation of our marriage will be to lead each other into a deeper relationship with Christ.  Through doing this, we will seek to lead others (in particular our children), into a living relationship with Christ that will save them from the Lake of Fire and allow them to live with Him forever in paradise.  Our marriage only has value if it accomplishes this goal.

2) Love-I will pray that my future wife and I will experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" well into our elderly years.  No reason to let all the young whippersnappers have all of the fun, haha!

3) Justice-I will ask God to allow us to properly raise our children with DISCIPLINE (so that they don't turn into the delinquents my nation's schools are churning out).  I will also pray for the strength to protect and LEAD my family so that God's Will is done in it.  In addition, I will pray that me and my wife deal justly with others and properly manage the resources God will give us.

4) Truth-I will pray that my wife and I each get a "Navy SEAL" team of same-gender, Christian best friends to keep us accountable (i.e. make sure we don't watch/read porn, masturbate, or cheat on each other with bodacious college babes/totally-ripped college studs).  I will also pray that we are open and honest with each other and communicate the truth IN LOVE (i.e. no swearing, hitting, or breaking stuff).  I will also pray that we get older couples to mentor us so that we stay focused on serving Christ and loving our family and others.  Mentors who are willing to put us in our place if we get out of line...

Please pray that I successfully do this, because it's going to be REALLY difficult!  

Hell In The Cell Of My Mind: A Prayer Request For My Four-Day Fast

Next week, I will be undertaking a four-day fast for my future wife.  I have done a three-day fast before and it was hell.  Many people only think of the hunger pangs when they think of going days without food.  To be honest, that was the easy part for me after Day 2.  The worst part was Day 3, when the Holy Spirit forced me to deal with many wicked things which others have done to me and which I have done to others.  I was literally losing my mind as all of the pent up bitterness, shame, and guilt from my past assailed me like the demonic inmates of a mental prison cell.  At the same time, through forgiveness and repentance, Christ completely transformed me and strengthened my faith.

At the same time, I was convicted by the experience.  I was fasting for a woman whom I thought was a close friend/sister figure, but the reality is that she was just an acquaintance from church.  I had moved to a new area and she was the first person my age who had shown me genuine kindness, so I prematurely promoted her to "close friend" before we truly got to know each other.  Suffice it to say that I have reason to believe that, as far as she was concerned, I was just the "cute, new guy at church", so to speak and we eventually grew apart.  I realized that I had gone above and beyond to help someone who was practically a stranger and was neglecting to pray for my own future wife (whom I have yet to meet).

So next week, I will pray and fast for four days for the woman who will help me be a better man and Christian for a lifetime.  A woman who will still want to be with me long after I cease to be the "cute, new guy at church."  This will be extremely difficult, so I would really appreciate your prayers for this fast.    

Becoming Christ's Mockingjay: Rebelling Against "The Capitol" Of Sexual Immorality

I am a diehard fan of "The Hunger Games" film and its two sequels.  The actors (Jennifer Lawrence in particular) are so great that they make me wish that their characters were real so that I could hang out with them.  In particular, "Mockingjay - Part 1" inspired me to continue my own war against "The Capitol" of sexual immorality, which has destroyed many of my friends and former classmates before they could even get married to begin with.

A lot of Christians don't understand that living for sexual purity is GOING TO WAR.  Once you decide to save yourself for your spouse, your friends (and sometimes even your family members) will turn on you.  The world will do whatever it takes to make you fall into sin so that your Christian witness is destroyed.  On top of that, Satan and his demons will do whatever it takes to destroy you for exposing what they promote as "sexual liberation" for what it really is : a tool of torture, slavery, and death.

Even worse, your own sinful, decadent desires will actually get WORSE when you first go to war.  After all, your "inner terrorist" (i.e. your flesh) craves forbidden sex like a drug addict craves cocaine.  Not to mention that you will become disillusioned by the fact that many activities which the world considers harmless (such as massaging your girlfriend's melons, or, if you're a girl, letting your boyfriend massage your melons) are actually very toxic and dangerous to you.  You may even get to the point where you are so discouraged that you just want to quit.

However, as impossible as it seems, victory can be achieved!  You CAN use a pure life to lead others to Christ as His Mockingjay! 

Being pure so that you can experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" is like committing your life to Christ: it will instantly put you at war with everyone around you, and especially against your own heart.  But through faith in what He did for you on the "hanging tree" known as the cross, not only will you be saved, but you can also experience the mindblowing, sexually-romantic hurricane of ecstasy that He wants you to have with your one-and-only, opposite gender spouse within marriage!

Matthew 10: 34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." (NIV)
   

     

Underdog Is Here! My Quest For Inner Purity

"I consider myself the underdog in every fight."-Ronda Rousey

"Everybody has a chance.  It's my job to make that chance as low as possible."-Jon Jones

These quotes show why the pound-for-pound best male and female fighters alive are currently UFC champions: THEY KNOW THAT THEY CAN LOSE.

This kind of underdog mentality is also what separates the winners from the losers in the battle for sexual purity.  Those who are humble enough to acknowledge their weaknesses, take their opponents seriously, and fight with all of their heart to honor Christ with a pure marriage are the ones who become and remain Romantic MMA champions.  The self-righteous and the arrogant who think that they are invincible are the ones who get turned out by a crafty member of the opposite (or same) gender, get trapped by pornography, literotica and masturbation, or wind up having affairs which torch their marriage like a flamethrower. 

Regardless of how these people fall sexually, the answer is clear: those who do not defeat sin in the power of Christ will become sin's prison harlot! 

I do not want to be sin's prison harlot.  I do not want to have even a hint of sexual immorality in my life nor anything that would cause me to wound the wonderful, god-fearing wife that the Lord will give me in the future.  I want to overcome sin through faith in the death and resurrection of my Savior, Jesus Christ and be a living sacrifice to Him.  That is why I am taking the next 6 months to undertake a quest for inner purity.  Setting boundaries with the opposite gender, accountability groups and locking down electronic devices with filters and tracking software are all excellent tools for maintaining purity.  That being said, our greatest enemy will always be our own heart.  Even though I am a virgin, I'll be the first to admit that I still get tempted.  I've considered entering relationships with certain women (all of whom I've met through church circles) who were willing to "go all the way" if we wouldn't get caught.  To put it politely, one if these women (whom I found very attractive) wouldn't even require the smokescreen of a dating relationship.  This is why I stay away from these women: I know that they can beat me!  There are certain shows I've wanted to watch because I know they show things which I shouldn't be seeing (or doing) before marriage, which is why I stay away from TV.  And I am fully aware that there are loopholes around any filter a computer, tablet, or smartphone can have, which is why I limit my use of these devices to an "as needed" basis (i.e. checking email and blogging) to avoid the obvious temptations of the internet.

In other words, even though I still have my V-card, I am definitely the underdog in my fight to honor Christ with a pure marriage.  I KNOW THAT I CAN LOSE.  This is why I would appreciate your prayers as I take six months of daily devotionals and prayers to allow God to purify my heart.

Matthew 23:26 "Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean." (NIV)                          

Gratitude: An Antidote To Sexual Impurity

Happy Belated Thanksgiving, Ladies and Gents.

Sorry for going so long without a blog post.  Since I work two jobs and have resumed martial arts training to deal with the stress, my weekends are pretty much shot.  So starting tomorrow, Monday will be when I blog about my quest to honor Christ to stay pure before, during, and, if I outlive my spouse (God forbid), after marriage.

Last weekend, one of my friends at my old church got married.  As a single guy in his late twenties, I'm not exactly a huge fan of weddings.  Nonetheless, I am glad that I went and was honored to be invited by her and her dad.     

While I probably would be more keen on weddings if I had a significant other, I'm no longer naive enough to think that, outside of a deep relationship with God, a wife is enough to make me happy.  That kind of thinking is what got Adam and Eve into trouble in the first place.  Satan told Eve that if she ate of the forbidden fruit, she AND her husband would be as God.  In other words, if they ate the fruit, they could boot God out of the picture and rule creation on their own.  So that's exactly what she and Adam (who was standing there the whole time, by the way) did.  Through eating the forbidden fruit, they rebelled against God and threw Him out of their lives.  Satan convinced Adam and Eve to be ungrateful for the paradise that God had given them and to reach for more: a world where they (and not the Lord) called the shots.  Their ingratitude, and their subsequent decision to reach for more than they should have, not only destroyed the paradise that God had given them, but condemned them and their descendants to an eternity in the Lake of Fire.  It took the death and resurrection of God Himself (in the form of His Son, Jesus Christ) to undo the damage which Adam and Eve did. 

If we aren't grateful for what God has given us, we won't appreciate it and we will seek out the forbidden (i.e. commit adultery or, if we are not married yet, have premarital sex and cheat on our spouse before we even meet them!).  This will cause us to throw the wonderful blessings God has given us through a plate-glass window and get ourselves thrown into our own personal Lake of Fire.  This Lake of Fire may include, but is not limited to:
-Divorce Court
-Baby Momma Drama
-STD Biological MMA
-Exes who make Heath Ledger's Joker character look like Spongebob Squarepants
-You get the idea...

I'm not saying that we should settle for spouses who are cheaters, alcoholics, drug addicts, porn freaks/chat room queens, "monkey-spankers"/"slumber party hostesses",  or abusive jerks/witches who lay the emotional/physical smackdown on us and our kids.  I'm just saying that we should be grateful for a spouse that is God-honoring, wise, loyal, mature, honest, and kind (and REALLY grateful if they are also smoking hot and have lots of bling, although these should not be our primary reasons for marrying them).

After all, not all of us are guaranteed marriage.  Even though God's original plan was for all of us to get married, human sin and death will wreck that plan for some of us.  Those of us who have a godly spouse in spite of those two things should be extremely grateful.  Satan, the culture, and our own wicked hearts will always try to trick us into wanting something more.  This can range from the obvious (i.e. a younger, hotter, more romantically charming/sexually adventurous, or richer woman/man) to the more subtle (i.e. a woman with an absentee father who emotionally connects with a kind, older male college professor or a man who was rejected by an overachieving family when he was a child who is drawn in by the affirmation of his female coworkers).  Like Adam and Eve, if we pursue these forbidden fruits, we will destroy the very paradise that God gave us.

The only way to grow and thrive in our own personal marital "Eden" is to be grateful for who God has given us.  Only then can we experience "Romantic World Peace" and "The Sexual Force Unleashed" within marriage.  Only then can we be like Mary and Joseph, who, through faith, were welcomed back into the presence of God by having the honor of raising Jesus Christ as their own Son.  Only then can we truly regain marital paradise.

"May your fountain be blessed,
    and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
¹⁹ A loving doe, a graceful deer—
    may her breasts satisfy you always,
    may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
²⁰ Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife?
    Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?" (Proverbs 5:18-20)

    

You Can't Win! The Truth About Compromising Positions

One of my favorite skits on "All That" (which was Nickelodeon's version of "Saturday Night Live") was "You Can't Win."  It was a game show which was deliberately rigged so that the contestants would lose.  The very first time the skit aired, the host refused to even explain the rules.

"It doesn't matter!" he yelled, with a huge smile on his face, "Because you can't win!"

That statement sums up the truth about compromising positions.  If we wind up alone with a smoking hot babe or totally ripped stud, then we are in a scenario which has been rigged by the culture, the demonic kingdom, the babe/stud, (and if we're honest, our own lust), so that we lose.  The whole reason why this is called a compromising position is because it is designed to make us compromise our integrity and throw our future marriage under the bus.

In other words, WE CAN'T WIN!!!

Even if you "win" by taking a stand for righteousness and refusing the lewd advances of your date, you may still end up losing.

For instance, if you're a guy and you wind up in a compromising position, then "losing" means that you wind up with Baby Momma drama, an incurable disease that goes biological MMA on your man-parts, or your son or daughter getting dismembered in an abortion clinic.  "Winning" means that the nympho that tried to jump your bones gets insulted that you rejected her and tells the police (or worse, her dad and brothers), that you tried to rape her.  That means jail, running away from gun-toting relatives, and a reputation that is permanently damaged, even after you are found innocent.

If you're a girl and you wind up in a compromising position, then losing means that you get knocked up and abandoned, an incurable disease that lays the smackdown on your lady-parts, or having to choose between letting your life goals fly away like birds on steroids or letting some quack doctor tear apart your son or daughter in an abortion clinic (and possibly destroy your uterus in the process).  "Winning" means that your psycho date decides not to take "no" for an answer and rapes you.  That means months in court trying to get justice, a lifetime of therapy, and a body, mind, heart, and soul that will never quite work properly again.

If you were invited to play a game in which winning means going to jail and losing means death (or, if you're a lady, winning means getting raped and losing means getting knocked up and abandoned), would you play?  Absolutely not!  Well, if you allow yourself to wind up in a compromising position, that's the game you're playing.  Don't play a game that you can't win.  Avoid compromising positions and protect your future marriage, your reputation, and your life! 

2 Timothy 2: 22, "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (NIV)

              

Staying Pure Until Marriage: My Duel With Goliath

Waiting until marriage is REALLY hard.  I grew up in an uber-traditional church, became a Christian when I was seven, had overprotective parents and it was STILL hard.  Now that I am an adult who can do whatever (and whomever) I want, it's a million times harder.  I feel like I am in a daily MMA cage match with Goliath as I constantly battle my libido.  Nonetheless, it is worth it.

As far as I know, I'm the only single male Christian who has made it into their twenties with their virginity intact.  This gives me a platform to preach the gospel that few other Christian young men have.  On top of that, I still have the opportunity to look at my wife on our wedding night and say that I proved my love for Christ by loving and waiting for her before I even met her (that's another thing: you can only truly love your spouse if you love Jesus with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength).  I also have the opportunity to teach my future kids by example that it is possible to honor God through a life of purity.

To be perfectly honest, I believe that God created me primarily for this purpose: to lead people to Christ through staying a virgin until I am married.

It is because I have accepted my calling that the temptations to fall into lust have multiplied.  Now that I have committed wholeheartedly to staying a virgin until marriage, I've received more female attention than ever.  The kind of women who never gave me a second glance in college are now buying me food, flirting with me (including playful touches on my shoulder and arm), and inviting me out for drinks/clubbing/to hang out alone at their place.  To be perfectly honest, if I wound up alone with some of these women and they came on to me, they would probably turn me out and make me look stupid in front of the people I am trying to lead to Christ.  That is why I am fighting tooth and nail not only to stay pure, but to keep out of situations where I would even be tempted to have premarital sex.

I know that it is impossible for me to stay pure on my own.  I am fighting not only these gorgeous playeresses, but also the culture at large, Satan and his demons, and worst off, my own inner lusts.  Nonetheless, I know that with God, all things are possible.  So like King David before me, I shall slay Goliath with only a few stones and a sling.

1 Samuel 17: 45 "David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied." (NIV)           





 

                

How Ellen Burkhardt Shattered The Stereotype Of Christian Female Virginity (Thank God...)

In the churches I have spent most of my life in, this was the unwritten code of conduct for good, virgin Christian girls:
1) Don't talk to boys
2) Don't look at boys
3) In fact, don't talk to anyone who isn't a family member or someone you've known since kindergarten.  Just sit by yourself looking as bored and miserable as possible.

I thought that if I wanted a wife that was sexually pure, then I would have to marry one of these self-righteous zombies (Great..).

Fortunately, I went off to college and met young Christian women who were wise, caring, and really fun to hang out with.  When I read Ellen Burkhardt's article, "When Guys Find Out I'm A Virgin", she reminded me a lot of these God-fearing, totally awesome ladies.  On top of that, her article confirmed a little-known fact about Christian women:

THEY ARE INTERESTED IN SEX, TOO!!!!

The stereotype about Christian women is that they have no knowledge of, interest in, or desire for sex whatsoever and that they only do it if:

1) A heartless, worldly boyfriend bullies or tricks them into it, or
2) They want create the next generation of self-righteous zombies with an equally rigid and dogmatic husband.  (Missionary position only, of course...)   

The reality is that most Christian women find men attractive and also look forward to sexual intimacy in marriage.  While they are more interested in the emotional/relational aspect of sex, they do enjoy the physical acrobatics of it as well.  For this reason, it's hard for Christian women to wait until marriage, too.  That's why I've started praying that Ellen stays strong in her quest to save herself for her husband.

On top of this, her article inspired me to continue my quest to save myself for my wife.  After all, as a future husband, I have the responsibility of leading my future family, and the best way to do that is by example.  So if I expect my future wife to be a virgin, and want my future kids to stay pure for their spouses, I have to do it first.

Check out Ellen's awesome virginity testimony at the link below:

http://www.salon.com/2014/10/06/when_guys_find_out_im_a_virgin/

            




               

Male Cleavage: How To Be A Good Brother In Christ By Being Emotionally Modest

There are thousands of books, e-books, magazine articles, blog posts, etc. on female modesty.  While dressing modestly is no guarantee that a guy won't try to put a girl into a compromising position, a girl is a lot less likely to be harassed or pressured into sex if she wears ladylike attire (and covers up her breasts).  That being said, women are not the only ones who need to be careful about what they do around the opposite gender.  Very often, men do inappropriate things which drive women insane sexually.  This is because there is a little known concept called "male cleavage."

Male cleavage is not a guy walking around showing off his package (something that girls don't particularly care for).  Girls are not turned on by sight nearly as much as they are turned on by SUBTLE touch and relationship. 

In other words, male cleavage is EMOTIONAL and RELATIONAL.

This is why players say "Listening gets you laid."  Because women feed off of emotional intimacy, IT'S TRUE!

A guy that spends a lot of time alone with a girl, letting her confide her darkest secrets and deepest dreams to him night after night, is guilty of male cleavage.  A guy may not realize it, but when he lets a girl constantly do that, it is equivalent to a stacked college babe wearing a low-cut tanktop and bending over in front of him.  What's even more tempting for girls is when guys let them "snuggle in" and cuddle as the confiding occurs.  When a guy does this, it's like that same stacked college babe letting him stick his hands up her shirt to "climb the twin peaks."  And a guy flirting with a girl on top of the confiding/cuddling is the equivalent of that stacked college babe removing her shirt to give a guy an eyeful of "the twin peaks."

And if a girl who is just a "friend" is tempted by things like this, just imagine how the girl who that guy has been dating/courting for six months will react?

(Hint: It involves a lot more curiosity about that guy's "package"...)        

Marty, the male virgin I know, didn't realize this when he started making female friends late in high school.  He basically became a good listener to be nice and didn't think much about hanging out alone with girls, engaging in friendly banter, "innocent" touches on the arm and shoulder, letting them sit on his lap (yeah, Marty was kinda dense), etc.  However, after several years, he started noticing a major trend.

WHENEVER HE DID THIS, HIS FEMALE FRIENDS WOULD START HITTING ON HIM!

The message he was trying to send with his behavior was, "Hey, I'm a nice guy and got your back if you need it."

The message his female friends got was, "Hey, I'm boyfriend material!  Any takers?!"

Not to mention that Marty figured out what guys call "friendly banter" is what girls call FLIRTING!

Look, I'm not saying that guys shouldn't interact with girls at all.  That would be like a guy putting on an emotional burka, which really isn't necessary.  Besides, if a guy is to experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" within marriage, he actually has to get married first, and that requires a certain amount of talking. 

Now, being "emotionally modest" is no guarantee that a guy won't run into girls who try to lure him into a compromising position.  It just means that he will run into them less and encounter the good girls who are marriage material more.  After all, real ladies like a mystery, too.

Guys who want to be sexually pure before marriage will increase their chances of doing so if:

1) They only hang out with girls during group activities (i.e. Pizza and Movie night)
2) They ease up on the "friendly banter"
3) They set clear boundaries on touching (i.e. no late-night "cuddle counseling sessions")
4) They steer a girl to discuss really personal topics (i.e. boyfriend/husband issues) to another girl

In other words, the guy should basically treat girls like they're his sisters.  If he doesn't do anything that he wouldn't do around his sister, then the emotional modesty will take care of itself.

 
   





 





   

Doomsday! Who Is The Villain Of Lust That Can Put You Down?

In the "Death of Superman" graphic novel, the Last Son of Krypton finally meets his match in an unstoppable monstrosity known as Doomsday.  Even though Superman manages to defeat Doomsday and keep him from destroying Metropolis, he does so at the cost of his life.  In a similar manner, every Christian man and woman has a "Doomsday" who can cost them the life of their future marriage by defeating their V-card.  

Now, when I am talking about your own personal Doomsday, I'm not simply describing the smoking hot college babe who is stacked like an Egyptian pyramid or the totally ripped 27-year-old stud who has a package that makes the Titanic look like a rubber ducky.  These type of people really fall under the category of "Kryptonite", because they make you drool/faint whenever they are around, but you don't think about them that much when they're gone.  Your Doomsday is the type of person whom:

1) You obsess over day and night
2) You constantly find excuses to be around
3) You have the kind of fantasies about that would make porn directors/literotica writers think you've gone batcrap crazy
4) If given the right opportunity (or excuse), you would practically swan dive under the sheets with

Whoever your Doomsday is will vary, depending on your personality and background.  Your Doomsday will also be a lot more sophisticated than a dead-sexy twenty-something (although you should be on guard around them, too).  For example, because of the high divorce rate in my country, a lot of young women grew up without their fathers.  Their "Doomsdays" tend to be older men who are unusually empathetic and affirming, a fact which has often been used to exploit them.   

In the case of a young man I know (who will simply be called Marty) his "Doomsday villains" tend to fall into the "best friend's hot older sister" category.  These girls don't even have to actually be related to any of his friends.  They just have to "fit the mold" (i.e. be mature, modest, 4-5 years older, sophisticated, and eager to seduce young men like Marty "on the sly").  So after Marty decided to dedicate himself to a life of purity, guess who came on to him?

THE HOT OLDER SISTER OF ONE OF HIS FRIENDS!!!!

Unfortunately for Marty:
1) His friend was the leader of the church group he was attending
2) The hot, older sister happened to be married

(That's another thing: your fantasies tend to leave out real-life complications such as these which would reveal your sinful desires as stupid, if not downright suicidal). 

Fortunately, Marty did not take the bait.  In fact, Marty doesn't even hang out with that group anymore.

So why is it so important to find out who your "Doomsday villain" is?

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, EITHER THE PLAYERS/PLAYERESSES WHO WANT YOU FOR DINNER OR THE DEMONIC FORCES WHO WANT TO DESTROY YOUR CHRISTIAN WITNESS WILL FIGURE IT OUT, AND THEY WILL USE IT AGAINST YOU!

So basically, you can either figure out what kind of person has the ability to put you down at will, and, through the power of the Holy Spirit, develop protective measures and take evasive action to keep your V-card intact and be a "Superman/Superwoman" of integrity.  Or, you can self-righteously believe that you are immune to temptation, become complacent, and get sexually, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually slaughtered by your personal Doomsday.

What will it be, Mr. (or Miss) Kent?   

1 Corinthians 10:12 "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!" (NIV)

 

 





    


       

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: Why I Am So Adamant About Setting Boundaries

Because Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, the wonderful sex drive that God has given us is no longer only triggered by our spouse.  Now, our sex drives are triggered by ANY attractive member of the opposite sex.  I set strong boundaries with my female friends in order to make sure that we stay friends and keep our integrity.  The reason I would like to give for this is that I paid attention to the godly counsel and wisdom of my parents and never veered off the path of righteousness.

The real reason is that when I was in college, I strayed away from God and almost threw away the most valuable gift that anyone can give to their spouse because I was young and stupid.  That close-call scared me back onto the path of righteousness.   

And guess who the girl was?  A female friend from a strict, conservative background who was always dressed head-to-toe, despised alcohol, and, aside from polite greetings, ignored most of the guys she met.  Even though I did find her attractive, she didn't seem interested in me at all, so I didn't even bother asking her out on a date.  I found out that she secretly liked me back MONTHS later when, while watching a movie in her room late at night, we randomly started making out.  I would love to say that, in the heat of the moment, I came to my senses, remembered that I was a virtuous Christian gentleman, and adamantly declined any further misconduct in order to protect my integrity and her honor.

In actuality, I was still drunk from clubbing earlier that night and blurted out that I was saving myself until marriage.  So she went on a guilt trip and decided not to sleep with me. 

Ironically, she cared more about my future wife than I did at the time.  

Leading up to that point, I committed many of the errors in judgment that lead most people to destroy their future marriages before they even begin.  Chiefly, being drunk and spending a lot of time alone with a member of the opposite gender, even someone who was "just a friend."  For that reason, I don't drink anymore, I avoid nightclubs and bars like the plague, and I only hang out with girls during group activities like game night at church young adult groups.  And guess what?  I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A COMPROMISING POSITION SINCE! 

Please understand that I played Russian Roulette and lucked out with an empty chamber.  In spite of committing some serious errors in judgment, I am still a virgin.  In the majority of compromising situations, V-cards get torched, Baby Momma Drama gets started, STDs go "Biological MMA" on private parts, and sexual expectations are set which future spouses can't meet past their twenties (if at all).  Don't play Russian Roulette with your virginity.  Set boundaries with your opposite gender friends.  And, while we're at it, STAY SOBER.

1 Timothy 5:1-2 "Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, ² older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity."    

  

 
                







 

  

Personal Tragedy Last Week. Thanks For the Condolences And Prayers.

Hello everyone,

I was not able to blog last weekend because of a family tragedy.  I appreciate your understanding and thank you all for your prayers and condolences.   

Free At Last: How Forgiveness Can Provide Escape From Slavery To Sexual Addiction

I have met many girls who were "sexually swindled" by players who manipulated these young ladies by convincing them that they loved them.  In reality, these men only loved their vajayjay and dumped them as soon as they got what they wanted.  On top of that, there is a rising population of playeresses who bleed guys dry as human credit cards with sexual reward points.  Then, like their male counterparts, these women cast these young men aside without remorse.  Many people of my generation are bitter and disillusioned as a result, which has caused them to become addicted to forbidden sexual acts.  Even worse, many of these acts, in addition to self-medication for the pain that they feel, are perverse ways to try to "get even" with the men and women who used them.

"Look at what you are making me do to myself!" These victims scream through their actions, believing that somehow the player/playeress will find out and feel so guilty that they throw themselves headfirst into the Lake of Fire.

In non-sexual areas of my life, I've played this "martyr game" myself, subconsciously believing that the dirtbag who screwed me over would somehow find out and condemn themselves to a life of self-loathing for what they did.  Unfortunately, this is what actually happened:

1) The dirtbag found me
2) The dirtbag screwed me
3) The dirtbag forgot me
4) The dirtbag screwed somebody else over

Look, if some player/playeress used and dumped you, you have every right to hate their guts.  Unfortunately, exercising that particular right will just waste your time because this is how these kind of people operate:

1) The player/playeress screws you
2) The player/playeress dumps you
3) The player/playeress forgets you
4) The player/playeress does the same thing to somebody else

So while you're throwing your chances of experiencing "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" through a plate-glass window, these scumbags are going along their merry scumbag way, leaving more relational carnage in their wake.  They have no remorse for what they did to you and aren't concerned about how badly they hurt you.  They're too busy screwing other people over to care.

So what do you do if a player/playeress has turned you out and made you feel (and look) stupid?

1)  Turn your entire life, including that past situation, over to Christ.  This is the only way to truly experience freedom and healing.

2) Forgive the player/playeress for using you so that bitterness does not enslave you to a life of forbidden sexual acts.

3) Repent for the forbidden sexual acts that you committed with that player/playeress.  Even though they lied/cheated/manipulated/bribed you, etc., it's important to remember that, if you consented, you are just as responsible for the loss of your V-card as they are.

4) If necessary, seek legal action for child support payments, to get custody of your kids if that person is strung out on drugs, etc.

5) Commit your sexuality to Jesus so that He can transform you into a resurrected virgin and allow you to experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" within a Christ-centered marriage!

Matthew 6:12-13, "Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one." (NIV)

      
    



    


        

Your Christian "Spider-Sense": Detecting Threats To Your V-Card Before It's Too Late

My favorite superhero growing up was Spiderman.  One of his more interesting abilities was his "Spider-Sense", which allowed him to detect danger before it appeared.  This superpower gave him a chance to prepare for battle before the bad guys could get the drop on him.  Unfortunately, we can't get superpowers from radioactive spiders in real life.  Fortunately, God has given us a real life "Spider-Sense" which is typically known as either the "gut-feeling", "vibes", or "sixth sense."   I find it helpful to call this "subconscious wisdom", because your brain is figuring things out so quickly that you know something is amiss on an instinctual level.  This is the kind of wisdom that keeps zebras from becoming lion food in Africa and which will keep you from winding up on the dinner plate of the human "lions and lionesses" who want to devour the "zebra" that is your V-card. 

I know a young man who has stayed a virgin up until now because he has trusted his instincts.  I'll just call him Marty.  An attractive young lady approached him after a training session at one of his previous jobs.  She immediately started telling him about how much she liked him and his demeanor and continued to flatter him at work afterwards.  Marty considered asking her out, but his "Spider-Sense" told him to not to.  He remained polite, but didn't talk to her outside of work.  As it turns out, he wasn't the only man who impressed this girl because within months of meeting her, she became pregnant out-of-wedlock with some other guy.

Now, I'm not saying that every woman that you meet wants to baby-trap you (or that every man who approaches you just wants to use you as a one night stand if you are a woman).  I'm simply saying that if your instincts tell you that someone is "off", you better pay attention.  In the same way that Marty's "Spider-Sense" saved his V-card and allowed him to avoid baby momma drama, so can your instincts save you from a lot of trouble.

 So how do you develop your Christian "Spider-Sense" so that you can detect threats to your V-card?

1) Submit Your Life To Christ.

Because of sin, the "Spider-Sense" that we have has become corrupted.  Since He is the only One who can repair it, you'll need a relationship with Him if you want your instincts to function properly.   
2) Read The Scriptures To Develop Your Spider-Sense

Just by reading the Bible over and over, I have been permanently cured of the naive and false belief that all humans are good, kind, and well-adjusted individuals.  This is a good thing because virgins (whether they are first-born or resurrected) who are naive usually get bent over or ridden like a donkey by the first crafty player/playeress who gets them alone.  If you're just starting off, though, simply take a week to read through the gospels and the Holy Spirit will reward your diligence by sharpening your "Spider-Sense."     

3) Pay Attention To Any Signs Or Feelings That Someone Is "Off"

No matter how charming (or smoking hot) somebody is, stay away from them if you sense that something is amiss.  Remember, even crocodiles and hyenas can smile: many of the most evil people whom I've ever met were extremely charming and charismatic up until the day that they screwed me over in other areas of my life.  If you let a player/playeress charm you into ignoring the alerts that your "Spider-Sense" is giving you, then they will literally screw you over a desk, a table, a bed, or some other piece of furniture before they tell their equally perverted friends about how they ate your V-card for dinner and your Christian witness for dessert.       

4) Understand That Your "Spider-Sense" Isn't Fullproof

Spiderman's archenemy was Venom, a villain with similar powers who could not be detected with his "Spider-Sense."  Like Spiderman, every person who is dedicated to a life of purity has a "Venom", a player/playeress who is capable of ambushing them without being detected.  This archenemy can also be known as their "type."  I've figured out that my Venoms tend to be playeresses who dress and act like quiet, modest, maidens of virtue as a ploy to get their targets to lower their defenses before luring them into illicit relationships.  I call these women and their male counterparts "Antichristians" because they counterfeit aspects of the Christian faith to accomplish their own perverted ends.  For this reason, be sure to take the next word of advice seriously, which is:          

5) Ask God For Wisdom

Remember, even if we are saved, we can still make mistakes.  That's why I always ask God how to relate to a particular girl, even if she doesn't set off my Spider-Sense.  Doing so will not only allow you to keep your V-card, but it will save you the aggravation of dating, courting, or marrying a member of the opposite gender who you're not a good fit for.

James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." (NIV)

Raphael's Folly: The Danger Of Fighting The Battle For Purity On Your Own

The number one reason why I started training in the martial arts is because of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  In particular, I loved the live-action movies of the early 90's.  Even though my favorite turtle growing up was Donatello, the one I had the most in common with was Raphael, a.k.a. "Raph."

In those movies, Raph was the bravest and toughest of the four ninja turtle brothers.  However, he was also bad-tempered and headstrong.  In particular, Raph often clashed with Leonardo (a.k.a. "Leo"), the leader of the group.  In the first two movies, Raph stormed off on his own after getting into altercations with Leo, only to wind up battling the Foot Clan all by himself.  While he would be able to fight them off for a while, the Foot eventually overwhelmed him through sheer numbers.  In the first movie, the Foot beat Raph into a coma.  In the second movie, they captured him and turned him over to The Shredder, who used Raph as bait in a trap that almost got his brothers killed.

Many Christians who embark on the journey of marital MMA are like Raph.  They want to use their toughness and bravery to fight for what's right, but get frustrated when their fellow believers don't see eye-to-eye with them.  This frustration often leads to them to storm off, and try to battle the "Immoral Foot Clan" on their own.  While they do hold out for a while, the "Foot" is so numerous that these Christians either get beaten into a coma (i.e., lose their V-card) or captured by Satan, our "spiritual Shredder" (i.e., trapped in a pornography/"romance e-book" addiction or in an illicit relationship).

So if you are tempted to fight your temptations on your own as a Christian "Raph", bear in mind the following things before you take on the players/playeresses of the "Immoral Foot Clan" without your brothers and sisters.

1) Players/Playeresses Target The Weak (And Alone=Weak)

Whenever I have been tempted by a playeress, she was either:
a) A lot hotter than me
b) A lot smarter than me
c) A lot wealthier than me
d) A lot more popular than me

Sometimes, she was all of the above!  Likewise, guys who seduce girls tend to have similar leverage over them.  The important thing you need to understand is that players/playeresses aren't looking for a "fair fight."  They are playing to win.  Period.  So they usually pick easy targets (i.e. the pastor's daughter who has left home for the first time in her life to go to school or the male recent Christian college grad at work who has never experienced more than part-time employment in a secular environment).  And players/playeresses know instinctively that the easiest targets are the lonely targets because they have no one to come to their rescue if they are overwhelmed. 

2) Players/Playeresses Cheat To Win

Again, "fair fight" is not in the vocabulary of a player/playeress!  Most of the playeresses I have encountered used some kind of dirty trick in an attempt to get me into a compromising position.  The most common one was inviting me to hang out "just as friends" so that they could come on to me the instant that they got me alone.  Their male counterparts use a similar trick in which they pretend to actually want a relationship with a girl when the only thing they want to get to know is her vajayjay.  Players/playeresses know that if they are honest about their intentions, the "good girls/guys" who they want to conquer will run in the opposite direction.  So players/playeresses "fight dirty" by deceiving and manipulating you until they earn your trust.  Then they will turn you out and make you look stupid in front of your Christian peers.  If that fails, these men and women will simply get you rip-roaring drunk and take advantage of you.       

3) Players/Playeresses Hunt In Packs

I have almost NEVER been tempted sexually by a playeress who was acting on her own.  Most of the time, the playeress got 2-3 of her playeress bffs to help her pressure me into "hanging out" with them.  Some playeresses will even get their sisters (or, in extreme cases, their MOTHER) to help them lure a guy into a compromising position (if you are a guy and this ever happens to you, RUN!).

Their male counterparts also hunt in packs, but in a different sense.  Most players know that if they and 2-3 of their buddies approach an unsuspecting girl at a mall, she'll run away and call the police.  So instead, a male player will usually invite his intended target and her friends to a house or frat party where his "wing men" will pick off her bffs one by one until he gets her alone.  At this point, through charm, experience, and leveraging his assets (i.e. the fact that he is hotter, smarter, richer, and/or more popular than her), he will have her V-card for dinner and her Christian witness for breakfast!

Did I forget to mention that "fair fight" is not in the vocabulary of a player/playeress?

Like Raph, you may be a loner by nature and want to fight the battle of purity on your own.  Nonetheless, you should try to join forces with fellow Christians anyway.  It won't be easy.  Very often, your Christian brothers and sisters will be as bossy as Leonardo, as immature as Michelangelo, or irritating know-it-alls like Donatello.  Nonetheless, if they are as dedicated to a life of purity as you are, then they will have your back when the "Immoral Foot Clan" comes to clean your clock.  

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." (NIV)


            

And The #1 Reason Why Christians Don't Succeed In Staying Pure Before Marriage Is Because...

They don't want to.

It's as simple as that. 

Staying pure so that you can experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" within a Christ-centered marriage requires discipline, hard work, and focus.  It's very similar to studying the martial arts in that it's a LIFELONG process.  Just like you have to practice DAILY to develop your ability to defend yourself from a physical attack, you also have to practice DAILY to develop your ability to defend your V-card and your marriage from attacks by forbidden sexual temptations.  When many Christians realize the sacrifices that they will have to make to live a life of purity, they decide that it's more trouble than it's worth and they give up.   Unfortunately, this leaves them completely defenseless when they are actually attacked.  A martial artist who experiences an attack which they did not prepare for normally winds up seriously injured or dead.  Likewise, a Christian who does not prepare for the violent attacks of forbidden desires will wind up with a sexuality that is either seriously injured or dead.

On top of that, many Christians know that forbidden sex is wrong, but want to experience it anyway because it seems fun.  These are the Christians who claim that they can "play" without "going all the way."  They are the spiritual equivalents of martial artists who know that they shouldn't hang out in bars/nightclubs or go out alone on car dates with strangers, but choose to do it anyway because it's fun.  These Christians believe that, like their black belt counterparts, they can "handle it" if things get out of hand.  Unfortunately, like the guy who winds up getting jumped by 20 bikers because he said the wrong thing about their leader's mother, or the girl who gets pinned to the backseat of her date's car because she got hammered with the wrong person, these Christians wind up in over their head.  Sometimes, they escape with their V-cards intact and their future marriages unscathed.  Most of the time, they don't.

In all likelihood, these Christians wanted to "fail" all along and deliberately stacked the deck against themselves so that they would have an excuse to sin.  That way, they can enjoy the forbidden pleasure of their sin and deny responsibility for their actions by blaming the heartless, evil, conniving player/playeress who "seduced them" (and leave out the fact that they secretly desired that person all along).  It's only when the consequences of their actions (like STDs and baby momma drama) come after them like a gang of biker thugs or a drunk date who's interested in nonconsensual love that these Christians express regret for what they did.  And even then, those consequences aren't always enough to keep them from doing it again.

If you truly love Christ, you will obey His commandments about romance and sex and stay pure before, during, and after marriage.  Like a wise martial artist, not only will you properly train to defend yourself from the forbidden temptations which want to kill you.  You will also save yourself a lot of pain and suffering by avoiding dangerous situations to begin with.  If you do these things, not only will you experience the power of human fusion by truly becoming one with your spouse.  God will also allow you to lead others to saving faith in Jesus through the sacred starlight of your Christ-centered marriage.  

 John 14: 15 "If you love me, keep my commands." (NIV)



               







   

Marital MMA: A Way Of Life

The most important thing to understand about Marital MMA is that it's not a destination.  It's a way of life.  Even if you and your spouse stay pure before marriage, the temptations to indulge in forbidden sex won't disappear.  In fact, the temptations will actually get worse because Satan will do everything in his power to destroy your relationship.  On top of that, your inner terrorist (a.k.a. your flesh) will continue its unholy jihad against you until the day you die, eager to seize control of your body, heart, mind and soul the instant that you take your eyes off Christ.  This does not mean that you will lose your salvation, for it is not possible for a true believer to lose eternal life once they have received it from Christ.  It does, however, mean that you are still capable of making decisions that not only destroy the earthly lives of you and your loved ones, but permanently damage your ability to lead others to Christ as well.

So even though you have been given many practical tips on how to stay pure so that you can experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" in marriage, remember this one crucial thing:

Total submission to CHRIST is infinitely more important than any technique, plan, or method that can be used to stay pure!!!!!! 

So if you haven't already, come before Jesus.  Take responsibility for your sinful nature and acknowledge that He is the only One who can save you.  Accept His death on the cross and His resurrection for the payment of ALL of your sins and surrender your life to Him.  Faith in Christ is the ONLY way to achieve true sexual purity, as well as the ONLY way to have eternal life in heaven and, after that, the New Jerusalem.  Without Christ, not only will you be burned and tortured in the Lake of Fire for the rest of eternity.  You will also spend your life with your heart, mind and soul in the jail of your earthly body with the "Big Bubba/Bertha" of your wicked desires and their prison gang of accompanying consequences.   

If you are already a believer, don't withhold your sexuality and romantic relationships as a final stronghold of rebellion and control.  If you do, then your sexuality and romantic relationships WILL be used against you and your ability to win people to Christ will be severely damaged, if not destroyed.  If you are really stubborn, God, like a coach dealing with a disobedient football player, will bench you.  This can take the form of being removed from the ministry, thrown out of the church, or, in extreme cases, "taking you out of the game" entirely by killing you and bringing you to heaven before you do any more damage to yourself, your peers, and His name.  So if you haven't already, turn your sexuality and romantic relationships over to Christ.  Then continue to nurture your relationship with Him as He does greater things in you and through you than you can possibly imagine!  

John 11: 25-26a "Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die..." (NIV)   

Jesus Christ: The Only One Who Can Execute Your Inner Terrorist

So how do you overcome the evil desires of your own heart so that you can experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" within a Christ-centered marriage?  I have some bad news: You can't.

If you try to defeat your cravings for forbidden sex on your own, your "inner terrorist" (which God's Word calls your flesh) will, like a giant shark, swallow you whole.  This is why so many people at church (some of whom are actually saved), not only lose their V-card before marriage, but also fall into all sorts of perverse and addictive behaviors even after they are married.  They think that if they memorize enough verses, pray hard enough, get enough counseling for past wounds, and do enough good things at church that God will flip the "off-switch" on their Love Bratwurst/Vajayjay and that they will never, ever lust again.  Unfortunately, God doesn't do things that way for one simple reason:

GOD WANTS YOUR HEART, NOT "STRAIGHT A'S" ON YOUR CHURCH MEMBER REPORT CARD!!!!!

Here are the problems with doing each of these activities without giving our hearts to Christ:

1) Memorizing Bible verses: Without giving our hearts to God, this is really just leisure reading to pass the time.  It can become as pointless as reading a book on nutrition when you are never going to give up burgers, pizza and ice cream or reading a magazine on self-defense when you will never set foot inside of a dojo.

2) Praying hard enough: Without giving our hearts to God, this is basically the equivalent of asking Mom and Dad to bail us out when we get ourselves into trouble.  If we have no intention of giving up our sin and just want a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card, God will eventually stop bailing us out.  He won't hesitate to leave us in a prison cell with the "Big Bubba/Bertha" of our consequences if that's what it takes for us to finally learn our lesson.  

3) Getting counseling for past wounds: Without giving our hearts to God, this can rapidly degenerate into blaming others for our sinful behavior.  The wicked deeds of others can exacerbate our forbidden desires and make us more creative in the way that we go about fulfilling them, but they don't cause them.  For example, a babysitter may have molested you when you were six years old, but they didn't force you to knock up your girlfriend, refuse to pay child support, and leave her and your kid to fend for themselves when you were 25.  Likewise, you may have been date-raped when you were 15.  However, your attacker didn't make you commit adultery with your best friend's 19-year-old son and hire a crooked attorney to take all of your husband's worldly possessions in divorce court when you were 45.  Getting counseling and legal help for what others did to us can accelerate the healing process.  Using their sins as justification for our own wicked actions will only keep us from dealing with the root cause of our sexual desires (our heart) and lead us to self-destruction.

4) Doing good things at church: Without giving our hearts to God, church service is just a thinly veiled attempt to make ourselves look good in front of others.  It has the same root as forbidden sexual desires: pride.  Not only can it lead to us justifying sexual indiscretions "on the sly" (i.e. I do so many good things at church that I deserve to "indulge" once in a while).  It can also lead to God exposing us by allowing a skilled player/playeress to call our bluff, turn us out like a college freshman, and make us look stupid in front of our church community.

In other words, when we try to overcome our inner terrorist with those activities, we are fighting a brain tumor with Excedrin.  Sure, some of the pain might go away, but we will still die!  So here is the key to defeating your inner terrorist:

YOU HAVE TO ALLOW CHRIST TO KILL THEM BEFORE THEY KILL YOU!

At the end of the day, Christ is the only one who can defeat your inner terrorist.  However, since He is a gentleman, He won't do it unless you let Him.  So here is how you let Christ give your forbidden desires the death penalty:

1) Take responsibility for your sin and turn your entire life over to Christ as your personal savior.

2) Take responsibility for your sin and turn your entire life over to Christ as your personal savior.

3) If you are already saved, turn your sexuality completely over to Christ.  Many Christians (King David being the greatest example), allow Jesus to be the Lord of every area of their life except for their sexuality.  When they do this, they provide an "Achilles' Heel" for Satan, the world, their peers, or players/playeresses to shoot arrows at until one hits the mark and their Christian witness dies like the ancient Greek hero.  If you give this area of your life over to Christ, He will shield you from these arrows so that you can serve Him effectively.   

4) In case I wasn't clear the first two times, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR SIN AND TURN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE OVER TO CHRIST AS YOUR PERSONAL SAVIOR!!!!  Nothing else will work if you don't do this, and I mean NOTHING!

Matthew 19:26 "Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (NIV)





  



                  

 

       

The Terrorist Within: Your Marital MMA Division's Undisputed Champion

Imagine that you have been sentenced to spend the rest of your life in a jail cell with a terrorist who has declared jihad against you.  Imagine that this terrorist is not only an expert in torturing your body, but that they also know the most intimate details of your heart, mind and soul and will use them against you.  Worst of all, this terrorist is willing die in the process of bringing you to hell with them.

Well, the bad news is that this has already happened.  Your jail cell is your earthly body and the terrorist is YOU!!!!!

Congratulations.  You've just met the undisputed champion of your Marital MMA division.

The truth is that ALL OF US ARE BORN EVIL.   As soon as we leave our mother's womb, we embark on a lifelong, unholy jihad against God, waging a proxy war against Him by sinning in every way that we can.  We are essentially committing martyrdom in the name of the "god" who we really worship: self.  The root of all sin, including sexual sin, is self-worship, which is more commonly known as pride.  When we sin sexually, we do to things:

1) We usurp God's rightful position as the Lord of our lives by replacing His Will for us with our own desires.

2) We seduce members of the opposite (or in some cases, the same) gender into committing idolatry by convincing them to offer their bodies as living sacrifices to us instead of Christ.

Because sexual sin is so destructive to the perpetrator and everyone around them, the person who uses these kind of acts as their method of rebellion has become the spiritual version of a suicide bomber.  In particular, when people infiltrate churches to desecrate Christians in the name of sexual conquest, they are, figuratively speaking, putting on a backpack full of explosives and running into a marketplace full of God's children. 

The bad news is that we are so brainwashed by our sin that it is impossible for us to stop our "War On Holiness" on our own.  No matter how hard we try to resist our "inner terrorist" (which the Bible calls our flesh), he/she will suck us back into unholy jihad and we will eventually wind up burning in The Lake of Fire forever.  The good news is that, if we turn ourselves in to Christ, plead guilty to our wickedness, and accept His death and resurrection on the cross as payment for our sins, He will cancel our eternal life sentence in the Lake of Fire.  Not only that, but He will also give us eternal life in paradise and allow us to serve in His army of righteousness through living and preaching the gospel. 

Unfortunately, even though our inner terrorist is mortally wounded when we accept Jesus Christ as our personal Savior, he/she doesn't die right away.  In fact, he/she will be especially lethal because they know that they are dying and have nothing to lose.  Before the Holy Spirit finishes them off (which doesn't happen until after you die), your inner terrorist will declare you a traitorous infidel and put a death warrant out on you.  One major way that your inner terrorist will try to slay you is by using your own sexual desires to lure you into behaviors that will either kill your physical body or murder your witness for Christ.  These behaviors include but are not limited to:

1) Hardcore pornography or "Romantic e-books" (a.k.a. hardcore porn for ladies)
2) Sexual promiscuity before/after marriage
3) Infidelity during marriage
4) "Spanking the Monkey" 
5) "Girls Night In" (a.k.a. the feminine version of "Spanking the Monkey")
6) Erotic daydreaming (a.k.a. lusting after friends, coworkers, classmates, celebrities, etc.)
7) In extreme cases, criminal acts such as sexual assault (at this point, it really isn't about sex anymore, but we'll get more into that later)

So how can you "put to death the desires of the flesh" and defeat your inner terrorist once and for all?  Read next week's post to find out.

Mark 7:21-23, "For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.  All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” (NIV)



        

            

Satan And His Demons : The Top Contenders In the "UFC" of Marital MMA

For professional MMA fighters, getting signed to the UFC is a chance to prove once and for all that they are the best in the world.  Unfortunately, the UFC is also the stomping grounds of the most dangerous men and women on the planet.  These apex predators take pleasure in crushing multi-time national/world champions and Olympic medalists before sending them crying to their mama.  As you continue to win battles for sexual purity and start leading people to Christ, God will decide that you are ready for the "UFC-level" competition of Marital MMA  and test you against the apex predators of sexual temptation: Satan and his demons.

Long story short, Satan and his demons are fallen angels who were thrown out of heaven after a failed coup de'tat against God.  Currently, they are still waging a "proxy war" against God through bringing as many humans to hell with them as they can.  One of their key weapons of mass destruction is sexual sin because:

1) Sexual sin, when allowed to run its full course, perverts the body, mind, heart and soul of the unbeliever to the point that they will eventually have no desire to be reconciled with Christ.  They will basically drive around the cross as they gleefully take the highway to hell.

This does not mean that Christ can't redeem those who have sinned sexually.  Christ's death on the cross paid the penalty for ALL sin, which includes the most unimaginably evil (and criminal) sexual perversions.  Many people do become new, holy creations in Jesus through crying out to Him from their prison cell.  However, if someone constantly refuses to repent, Christ will let their sin run its course, which means that they will eventually wind up in the Lake of Fire for rejecting Him.    
     
2) Sexual sin castrates and sterilizes Christian men and women so that they can't effectively spread the gospel.  Nobody wants to hear about Christ's righteousness from pastors who bend female church members over their desk during "counseling sessions" or Sunday School teachers who give carnal "one-on-one tutoring" to their boyfriends in the church bathroom.  Doing that and expecting to lead people to Christ is like expecting people to hire you as a personal trainer when you spend all day on your couch watching Netflix, eating burgers, and drinking milkshakes.

Oh, and while we're at it, "getting to know yourself" while watching porn/reading literotica for hours every night is NOT a healthy outlet for sexual expression!  Doing that and trying to lead people to Christ is like trying to lead an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting when you are RIP-ROARING DRUNK!

So how do you keep Satan and his demons from swindling you out of your V-card and laying the smackdown on your plan to experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" in a Christ-centered marriage?           

1) Commit your entire life and spiritual wars to Christ.  At the end of the day, that's the only thing that will allow you to overcome and defeat the demonic kingdom.

2) COMMIT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AND SPIRITUAL WARS TO CHRIST!!!  You are really overmatched here!  

2) Stay in fellowship with devout Christian brothers and sisters and pray over each other.  And by pray, I mean real prayers, not just "Little Johnny has the flu" kind of requests.  If things get really bad, ask for prayer to bind the powers of Satan/cast demonic presences out of your life.  

3)  Put on the armor of God before you go into battle (see the passage at the end of the post).  Remember, these creatures once tried to overthrow God Himself.  When you fight them, you better be prepared!

4) Don't swim in the shark tank!  Stay away from magic, ouija boards, seances, investigations into "paranormal" activity, fortune tellers, covens, and other activities, people and places which attract demons like blood attracts Great Whites!

5) If God has called you to preach the gospel to people who are enslaved to occult and demonic practices, don't do it alone.  Make sure that you witness to them and get to know them with fellow believers in a safe godly environment such as a Christian concert or youth rally.  Neutral settings such as a restaurant or bowling alley are also fine.    

6) Destroy anything in your life that Satan and his demons can use against you (i.e. twisted and corrupt music, video games, films, e-books, etc).  Like professional fighters, these creatures will spend hours or longer "watching tape" on you to figure out your strengths and weaknesses so that they can get you to fall. 

For example, if you constantly watch movies in which a guy is seduced by his friend's older sister, one day, demons may arrange it so that you have a bromance with a dude who's mature, sophisticated, and smoking hot older sister wants you for DINNER!  If you are a girl who reads e-books about being swept off your feet (and into bed) by a cowboy, don't be surprised if your neighbor's rugged (and totally ripped) cowboy cousin stays with them over the summer and offers you to teach you how to properly "ride a stallion." 

In particular, remove any addictive behaviors that you have because they will provide a spiritual highway for the forces of hell to send their troops into your life.        

7) Fight with the sword which makes the Jedi lightsaber look like a wet noodle : the Bible!  The best part about the Bible is that, WHEN USED PROPERLY, there's nothing that can counter it.  In fact, Jesus used the holy scriptures to defeat Satan when he tried to tempt Him in the desert.  Likewise, we must use the holy scriptures to crush Satan and his demons and send them crying back to hell.     

Ephesians 6: 10-18 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,  and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people." (NIV)

Secure Your Borders: Only Allow Sexually Pure Influences Into Your Mind

The good news is that if you avoid players/playeresses and stay in peer groups who are dedicated to Christ's standard of purity, you are well on the way to experiencing "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" within marriage.  The bad news is that horndogs, nymphos, and perverted friends are amateur-level fighters.  After you get some wins in the cage, God will test you against the pros: the world (which would be like Bellator-level competition), the demonic kingdom (which would be like UFC-level competition), and worst of all, your archnemesis (who is your reigning undisputed divisional champion.  Hint: they aren't Satan).  But the best news is that if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, He will give you the heart, training and skills necessary to become a Marital MMA champion with your spouse.  That being said, you still need to know what you are up against, so here is an overview of the professional "B-league" of sexual temptation: the world.

No matter where you live, forbidden sexual influences will try to gain illegal entry into the "nation" of your mind to wreak havoc.  The most common entry point they will use is the internet, where deranged people will even upload porn to Youtube and "romantic e-books" (a.k.a. porn for women) on Amazon.  Other access points forbidden sexual influences will use to gain entry include television, music, books, and video games.  There's no way to escape this.  I once lived on an extremely conservative island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and within a few weeks of my arrival, they got high-speed internet.  So in order to keep forbidden sexual thoughts from "illegally immigrating" into your brain, you must set up a Christ-centered border patrol.  To do this, you must:

1) Submit your entire life to Christ, in particular your mind.  The other measures that you use will only work if you take this important first step.

2) Secure your borders.  Put accountability software and filters on your smartphone, computer, tablet, and television.  If you already have a severe addiction, get rid of these devices until you have been sober for at least six months.  You can talk just as easily on a flip phone as you can on an Iphone (although texting will be a pain in the rear).

When you go out to movies, concerts, etc. don't watch or listen to anything you wouldn't want your future son or daughter to be exposed to.  If anything causes you to sin, regardless of how harmless it seems, DEPORT IT! 

Don't, however, go overboard and become legalistic (i.e. telling someone else how badly they will burn in hell for reading "Harry Potter" on their Kindle).  Remember, your goal is to lead people to Christ, not to declare "church jihad" on everybody who doesn't follow your personal traditions (which may not necessarily be biblical).
         
3) Encourage "legal immigration" into your mind by flooding it with music, movies, books, etc. which are consistent with Christ's standard of holiness.  And remember, holiness is NOT a synonym for "totally lame"!  Search until you find godly entertainment which is also ENJOYABLE!   

4) If you have the talent, create God-honoring music, Youtube shows, novels, and other holy media to lead others to Christ.  If you don't have the talent, provide encouragement to those that do through buying their MP3s, e-books, etc.

5) Use the Bible as your standard for what you should watch and listen to.  Our own personal convictions are too easily twisted by influences such as how hot the actress/actor is or how funny the viral video is.  So stick to the only unchangeable standard that we have: God's Word.  Oh, and don't use one of the politically correct, self-help ones which are coming out now (which I have nicknamed the New Bullcrap Translations).  Make sure that you have a legit translation (such as the New International Version, King James Version, or New American Standard Version).    

Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (NIV) 

 

Romantic Independence Day: Protecting Your Sexual Liberty From Imperial Perverted Peers

Peer groups are like mini-nations.  They can either be valiant allies who help you protect your romantic independence and sexual liberty within marriage, or they can exploit you as their own private, carnal colony.  For that reason, you must do whatever you can to ensure that you don't enter into a "social alliance" with Imperial perverted peers.

Many peer groups, both inside and outside of the church, are gangs of social "Royalists" who are fiercely loyal to the World's Crown of Forbidden Sex.  They will do whatever they can to bring you back under the yoke of perverted tyranny, such as inviting you to keggers, nightclubs, frat parties and other shark tanks where they eat virgins for dinner.  They will also introduce you to their "friends", who are people that make mafia wise guys look like morally upright citizens.  Even worse, all of us who actually want to stay pure will eventually get at least one traitorous "friend" who, depending on their gender, wants to invade or annex us in an intimate manner.  This social "Benedict Arnold" (or female equivalent) can also be a classmate, coworker or a member of our church.  When they are related to one of our true friends (i.e., a flirty, smoking hot sister or sophisticated, totally ripped brother), things can get really awkward, really quickly.  Not to mention that the situation will result in serious drama (and violence) if you give in to temptation and your friend finds out.  So here are some tips to keep your peers from using the natural resources of your body to satisfy their desire for conquest.

1) Give all of your social relationships over to Christ.  George Washington's faith in Christ is what enabled him to lead the United States to independence and it is also how you will protect your romantic independence and sexual liberty from Imperial perverted peers.

2) Make sure that the members of your inner circle, like most of America's founding fathers, have fully committed their lives to Christ.  Going to church once a week doesn't count: they actually have to live out God's love and truth in their daily lives.  In other words, when creating the social equivalent of "One Nation, Under God" so that you all can help each other stand for purity, don't pick "Royalists" who are screwing their boyfriends/girlfriends to be your fellow "Founding Fathers"!
     
3) Set clear boundaries with opposite gender friends, especially if you are married.  Otherwise, your alliance with these friends can quickly deteriorate into a physical (and sweaty) annexation/invasion at their house, a hotel room, or an office at work/church,  This will either lead to the overthrow of your Christ-governed relationship with your spouse or plant the seed for a "Civil War" in your future marriage if you're still single.   

5) Remember the true meaning of sexual liberty and romantic independence.  Seeking these virtues does not mean that you can do whatever you want.  That's not freedom: that's anarchy.  True sexual liberty and romantic independence allow you to exercise your God-given rights to enjoy your spouse RESPONSIBLY and OFTEN within a CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE.

Psalm 1:1-6, "Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night. 
 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.

 Not so the wicked!
    They are like chaff
    that the wind blows away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
    nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
    but the way of the wicked leads to destruction." (NIV)

Protecting Your Chastity MMA Belt, Part 2: Shut Down Your Opponent's Game Plan

How do you keep from being part of the one night stand "highlight reel" of a player who is a KO artist?  How do you keep a playeress from tapping you out and making you look stupid in front of your friends, family, coworkers and, dare I say, congregation?  Fortunately, the basic tactic is the same for both of them: stay out of their range.  In other words, DON'T HANG OUT ALONE WITH THEM.

Going off alone with a player or playeress is as stupid as dropping your hands in front of Mike Tyson or going to the ground with Royce Gracie.  First off, like a certain boxer whose name rhymes with "Dayweather", these people tend to fight overmatched opponents.  In other words, if they target you, they will probably be:

1) A lot older than you
2) A lot smarter than you
3) A lot richer than you
4) A lot hotter than you
5) A lot more popular than you

Secondly, there aren't any referees or state commission officials to make sure that they don't cheat by, for example, getting you rip-roaring drunk (think of this as the seducer's version of using performance enhancing drugs).  In other words, players and playeresses will do everything they can to rig the game so that you will lose.  So shut down their game plan and DON'T PLAY!!!

This is a very simple and effective tactic, but it isn't easy.  These people have all sorts of tricks to lure you into their range.  Such as a college stud inviting you and your friends to a party before using their wing men to isolate you by luring your bffs away.  Or foxy freshman girl asking you to walk her home at night to "be a gentleman" (hint: most "good girls" arrange safe travel beforehand so that they aren't at the mercy of a stranger who is twice their size).  I could tell you a thousand different counters to these tricks, but then someone would come up with trick number 1001 and you'd be screwed.  Literally.  So instead, I'll tell you some general tactics that will help you in every situation.

1) Submit yourself to Christ.  This will give you the resolve to protect your V-card no matter what, so make this Plan A-Z. 

2) Safety in numbers.  Players and playeresses are like the predators on the Discovery Channel.  They tend to prey on those whom they perceive as weak, and to these people, alone=weak.  So be strong and humble enough to travel in a herd.

3) Get out of the shark tank!  Don't hang out at nightclubs, bars, frat parties, or other places where these people hang out unless you want your virginity to be devoured like a "Jaws" victim.  Oh, and, while we're at it, STOP GETTING DRUNK AROUND THE OPPOSITE SEX!

4) Be suspicious of "overqualified candidates."  For example, if the star quarterback of your school's football team takes an interest in you, and you're the president of the chess club, it's unlikely that he is interested in learning any openings that don't involve you spreading your legs.  Likewise, if you are a young man doing online work at a coffee shop and a gorgeous, mature former model tells you that she has observed "how hard you work", she may want to figure out what else is as hard as your work ethic (especially if she is having marital troubles).  Remember, if it's too good to be true, it probably is.

5) Worse case scenario, if they do get you alone and you figure out what their true intentions are, RUN!  If you're a girl and the guy gets violent, fight until you can escape.  You're better off getting away with a bloody nose and black eye than letting a date rapist turn your internal organs into shredded beef and permanently sabotage your emotional and mental health.

If you're a guy, and a girl tries to corner you, RUN FASTER!  Because if you two are alone and you reject her advances, she may get pissed off and claim that you tried to take advantage of her.  And due to today's social climate, whatever the girl says happened, happened.  Ditch the nympho before she gets you alone and keep your reputation intact.  It's much easier than having your name dragged through the mud as you battle a bogus rape charge in court and fight off the advances of your cellmate, Big Bubba.     

2 Timothy 2:22 "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (NIV)



 

       



    

Protecting Your Chastity MMA Belt, Part I: Is Your Opponent Going For The KO? Or The Submission?

Being a virgin nowadays is like being an MMA champion: EVERYONE wants to take your belt away.  Being a male doesn't shield you from this because many women have taken the sexual double standard and thrown it headlong through a plate-glass window.  In other words, there is a rising population of "playeresses" who are just as aggressive and ruthless as men.  In order to prepare you for what to expect, I am going to tell you about the two most common types of players: the striker and the grappler.

The ultimate goal of a striker is to go for the KO.  In sexual terms, this would be the one night stand.  A striker will change levels (i.e. modify their behavior to match what they think your "dream guy/girl" is)  and use feints (i.e. pretend to actually want a relationship with you) to set up that one big punch or kick.  Rest assured that when the knockout blow comes, it will be too fast for you to see it.   You will basically wake up next to them in bed the next morning wondering how on earth they got you in the sack.  To add insult to injury, that will probably be the last time you see them.  After they have a "post-fight presser" with their perverted friends to brag about how they got your belt, they will forget you and move on to the next challenge.  You can probably guess that most strikers are male.    

The ultimate goal of a grappler is to get the submission.  In sexual terms, this means either getting a sugar daddy/mama or a "boyfriend/girlfriend" who is really just a boy toy/friend-with-benefits.  Like a highly skilled BJJ practitioner, they will wait patiently for an opportunity to take you to the ground (i.e. they will act like a well-meaning, platonic friend until they earn your trust and confidence).  When this happens, they will maneuver you into the position that they want through subtle, precise movements until they get you into a submission hold (i.e. lure you into a relationship that is anything but platonic).  Unlike strikers, who usually just knock you out and move on, grapplers won't let go until they make you tap (i.e. bleed you out of all of your money or all of your self-respect).  Once this happens, they get bored and move on to the next challenge.  It comes as no surprise that most grapplers are female.

While these two types of players have very different strategies, the key to beating them is the same.  To find out how, read next week's blog post.







           

Marital MMA: Win The Undisputed Championship!

Are you ready to experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" as a Marital Mixed Martials champion (a.k.a. godly husband/wife)?  If so, there is one crucial first step you must make: you must give your life completely over to Christ.

Trying to win the Marital MMA championship without Christ is like training to beat Jon Jones or Ronda Rousey with Tae Bo videos.  You'll get your butt kicked and look stupid in front of everybody in the audience.  If you want to succeed, you need to join a training camp.  And to become part of Team Immanuel, you must be born again.

The best part about being a member of Team Immanuel is that you can't get kicked out or cut.  Once you join, Christ will be the Lord of your life for all of eternity.  Think head coach to the infinite power!  If you are sincerely willing to leave your life behind and follow Him into eternity, acknowledge your sin.   Repent.   Accept Christ's death on the cross and resurrection as payment for your sins so that He can become your personal Savior.  Once He becomes your personal Savior, then He will do whatever it takes to turn you into a Marital MMA champion (if you let Him).

That being said, joining Team Immanuel is one thing.  Winning your division's Marital MMA title is another.  If you constantly show up late, train halfheartedly, and act like a jerk to your teammates, Christ won't kick you out.  He'll simply bench you.  And if you don't fight, you can't win the title.  So if you really want to excel in Marital MMA, and make the most of your membership to Team Immanuel, go all out every time you come to the gym.  Only then will you truly experience the joy of being a Marital Mixed Martial Artist and start winning battles in the cage of this world. 

Of course, nobody is ever handed a championship.  You have to earn it.  Christ will test your resolve by matching you up against the most ruthless foes you can imagine.  The foes on the way to a Christ-centered marriage are numerous, but they tend to fall into five categories.  These are:

1) The players/playeresses
2) Your peers
3) The culture/world
4) The demonic kingdom
5) The reigning champion of your division, who will be revealed later (hint: it's not Satan)   

I will cover these opponents in depth over the next five posts.  However, while they all have their unique strengths and weaknesses, the key to beating them is the same.  If you fight them through the power of Christ, you will eventually succeed.

     
Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (NKJV)
  

 

            

Resurrected Virgins: The North Stars Of The Christian Faith

For centuries, sailors used the stars of the night sky to guide them to safe harbors as they traveled through the darkness.  The most important of these is Polaris, the North Star.  Polaris is not only the brightest star that appears at night:  it's also the only one which does not move.  Those who wait until marriage for their first sexual encounter (provided that their marriage is Christ-centered and between one man and one woman) will be as the sun, the star which gives life to the creatures of the earth.  For those who have failed, becoming the sun is an option that is sadly no longer open to them.  However, through repentance, faith, and love, they can still become Polaris, the North Star, through the only one who can bring their sexuality back to life: Jesus Christ.

As those of you who have had premarital sex already know, there's no returning to Eden.  Once you lose your V-card, it's gone.  Nothing that you do can get it back.  However, thanks to what Christ did for us on the cross, you can enter the New Jerusalem, the holy city which is the final paradise for all who believe in Him.   If you repent of your sin and give your life to Christ, He will heal and restore your whole being, including your sexuality.  Even though He may not make all of your problems go away (i.e. you will probably still have to deal with baby momma drama, deadbeat dads, or medical bills related to what you did), He will give you "World Peace Of The Soul" and "The Spiritual Force Unleashed" through eternal fusion with Him, transforming you into a resurrected virgin.  Out of His mercy, He may still allow you to experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" within a Christ-centered marriage.  I even read about a former porn star who became born-again and was miraculously cured of an STD that she had contracted, although this is extremely rare.  Now, depending on your particular circumstance, getting another chance at "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" is not guaranteed.  However, through Christ, all things are possible.  At the very least, if you let Him, He will transform you into a human "North Star" who will guide the lost sailors (i.e. unbelievers) of the world into the safe harbor of His Salvation through your testimony.    

On a side note, I want to make it clear that you are ONLY responsible for sexual encounters that you consented to.  If someone (be they male or female) forced sex onto you, assaulted you while you were drunk, or molested you when you were a defenseless child, you are not to blame for the encounter.  If that has happened, I strongly urge you to allow Christ to heal you through a saving relationship with Him, godly therapy, and a church small group which is SAFE, OPEN and RESPECTS CONFIDENTIALITY.  Contrary to popular belief, these do exist.  Just be aware that you may have to look harder for support if you are a male victim.   

For those of you who have consented to forbidden sex (which is any sex before or outside of a marriage between one man and one woman), for whatever reason, then you can only experience a resurrected sexuality if you take responsibility for your participation in that encounter.  It takes two to tango, especially if the tango happens to be "horizontal" and "clothing optional."  If you accept responsibility for what you did, repent, and give your sexuality and life over to Christ, then He can truly transform you into Polaris, the brightest star in the night sky.

John 11: 25 "Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die;" (NIV)