Happy Belated Easter, Everyone!
I am ecstatic because not only did I get to spend Easter with my family, but a close friend of mine welcomed me back into their life even though I didn't deserve it. Long story short, we had a falling out a couple of years ago that was 100% my fault. I honestly thought that they would never speak to me again. However, on Easter, I went before them, acknowledged that I was wrong, and asked them to forgive me (I was even prepared to beg if necessary). My friend, being the amazing saint that they are, forgave me immediately. We spent the rest of the morning catching up and our friendship was even better than it was before.
A few days after that, I got an amazing insight from God in regards to marriage: forgiveness and repentance are essential for truly experiencing holy matrimony.
My goal is to, through my example, lead as many people to stay virgins before marriage as possible. I believe that is the strongest way to spread the gospel on a planet that is increasingly dominated by the Lewd World Order. That being said, many of us who have kept our V-cards may be called to marry spouses who have "made mistakes" (i.e. thrown their V-cards through a plate-glass window). While I still believe that my future spouse (whoever she is) will also be a virgin when we are married, I am prepared for the worst case scenario in which I am not her first. Or second. Or third...
(Those of you who live in a Western country such as the United States will understand)
I know exactly what I will do if that is the case: I will forgive my future spouse.
Now I want to make it clear that you should NOT marry someone who is unrepentantly immoral. If you encounter a girl who justifies "playing the harlot" by saying "It's the 21st century" or a guy whose superhero alter ego is "Uber-Perv" because they believe "Boys will be boys", RUN!!! That person will not only expect you to do all the nasty things that their exes did to fulfill their "needs", but they will also look elsewhere for fulfillment (i.e. cheat) when you cease to be new and shiny. And obviously, do not marry someone who has a venereal disease.
That being said, the Holy Spirit can truly change hearts. There are people who have a sordid past who, through a personal encounter with Jesus Christ, realize that they are wrong, repent, and turn their backs on forbidden desires FOR GOOD. These are the people who I call "resurrected virgins." They demonstrate their repentance through dedicating their lives to chastity, seeking God with all of their heart and loving Him through loving others. In return, God often blesses them by healing and restoring their sexuality (and, in the cases of those men and women who went completely bat guano carnally, He raises it from the dead). If God leads one of these reborn knights and maidens of chastity to you for holy matrimony, forgive them for what they did to harm your future marriage. Make sure that your forgiveness is genuine by letting it go and RELEASING IT TO GOD (i.e. don't secretly resent/be disgusted by your future spouse to make yourself feel superior). If you TRULY forgive them, God will bless both of you by allowing you to experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" within marriage.
If you are the one entering the marriage with baggage, repent. You don't need to give your future spouse a play-by-play analysis of your past indiscretions (nor is it advisable if you want the marriage to last very long). Just acknowledge that you haven't been pure in the past, repent and ask for forgiveness. Oh, and remember, if you consented, you're guilty. Don't give a fake apology in which all you basically do is throw your exes/friends with benefits/one night stands under the bus to absolve yourself from guilt. Repentance only works if you take FULL responsibility for your actions.
Through Christ's death and resurrection, we can all receive forgiveness, and be resurrected with Him as new creations. If we extend this forgiveness to our future spouses for their past sexual indiscretions, our future marriage with them, through the power of Christ, will also be resurrected.
Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (NIV)
