Happy Belated Valentine's Day! I have some BAD NEWS!
Not everyone who wants citizenship in your heart as your only spouse will be an honest, hardworking individual who wants to contribute to your socio-emotional society. Many will just want to exploit you for the resources you have, and some will be career criminals who want to wreak havoc and murder your relationships and emotional well-being for fun! So you need to set up a wall to guard your heart from those who are coming in to emotionally rape and pillage. Clear boundaries need to be set. Here are mine:
Before I consider granting a woman romantic citizenship, she must:
1) Be born (and have chosen to remain for her entire existence) a female
2) Be a slave of Jesus Christ
3) Respect her father
4) Recognize her future husband as the leader of her family
5) Want to have and raise children (i.e. no birth control method not named "abstinence" allowed)
6) Be modest and classy (i.e. NO FLIRTING)
7) Be a virgin (just like me)
8) Be sober (no alcohol, drugs, smoking, pornography/masturbating (including to 50 Shades of Grey)
9) Recognize that marriage is one-man and one-woman united by Jesus Christ and is a lifelong commitment.
10) Not believe in divorce
11) Be mature, honest, and responsible, especially with finances
Whatever boundaries you set, Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life*.
This includes making sure that your boundaries are godly. For example, "cannot be black/white/Latino/Asian/Native American, etc." is not godly. It's racist. And Jesus Christ won't bless you with a wonderful spouse if you are sinning or hypocritical in your boundaries. For example, expecting a virgin when you spent all of your youth smashing the cheerleading squad and every sorority on campus...yeah, only if you get a TREMENDOUS amount of grace.
Also, don't create loopholes for people who are:
1) Drop dead gorgeous
2) Freaking rich
3) Got more connections than an extension cord (Power!)
I have done this and screwed myself over big time. Fortunately, I was blessed to find out who the con artist really was before I lost my most valuable asset: my virginity. I just wish I had not been cheated out of every other resource I had! But hey, if you let a scorpion ride on your back, then it's your fault you got stung!
So build your freaking wall, and protect yourself so that you aren't an emotional trainwreck after letting too many bandits stick you up! For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.**
*Proverbs 4:23
**Romans 6:23
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
Some Damsels Like Being In Distress (And Not All Lost Boys Want To Be Found)
Some people like being abused. It makes them happy.
I found this out the hard way at a previous company I worked at. I once had an attractive female colleague who chose to be with a man who verbally abused her, trained their students to verbally abuse her, and physically bullied and sexually harassed her friends. Yet, she partied with him all the time, would always do things for him when asked, and after he pulled a "Midnight Run" to a different country, stayed in touch with him and told us about his latest exploits.
In other words, SHE LOVED HIM.
Why?
Because people are SICK. And one major sign of someone who is REALLY sick is that they display masochistic tendencies. The human heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can understand it? *
In a different sense, I've had similar behavior. Once, I was the male equivalent of a "Damsel-In-Distress": a "Lost Boy." A "Lost Boy" is a guy who seeks out relationships with girls who verbally abuse and publicly humiliate him for their own amusement. These bad girls (whom I will refer to as "Black Swans"), like their bad boy counterparts (whom I will refer to as "Dragons"), also typically exploit the Lost Boy for a resource that he has (which is not always money or sex).
From personal experience, Lost Boys attract "Wendys", the female equivalent of Knights in Shining Armor. These girls typically try to rescue the Lost Boy by behaving like Wendy from "Peter Pan." They basically mother and "big sister" him through being the shoulder to cry on (although the Lost Boy typically "cries" through brooding and venting), and through acts of service like doing his laundry, making/buying him food, etc., and showering him with praise and affection. This is typically with the hope that the Lost Boy comes to his senses and ditches the Black Swan. Often, like the Knight in Shining Armor, the Wendy secretly hopes that the one she rescues will become romantically interested in her if she is kind enough to him.
As we all know, this almost never happens. Most of the time, the Lost Boy, like the Damsel-In-Distress, is a masochist. They get a sick thrill out of being a victim, so they choose to remain in the abusive situation and allow themselves to be bullied and exploited. In other words, THEY ENJOY IT.
This is the real reason why some damsels like being in distress, and why not all lost boys want to be found. THEY LIKE BEING ABUSED AND BULLIED. IT MAKES THEM HAPPY.
But that's not the worst of it. When the Lost Boy chooses to be bullied by a Black Swan for too long, he will eventually turn on his Wendy and start being abusive and hostile towards his rescuer. I call this the "Werewolf Transformation"; the victim becomes the bully and "passes it forward." It's the male equivalent of when a Damsel-In-Distress is bullied by a Dragon to the point where she turns on and starts becoming abusive and hostile towards her Knight in Shining Armor, which I call the "Vampire Transformation." The victim becomes the bully.
Fortunately, Jesus Christ has the power to rescue everyone involved in this complete and utter cluster-screw. In my case, Jesus Christ transformed me from a Lost Boy into a "Dark Knight", a guy who has been divinely empowered to leave the toxic waters of the Black Swans and never look back. Christ also does the same with Damsels-In-Distress, transforming them into "Tiger Lilys", empowering them to forsake the Dragon's lair for good. Jesus Christ is the only One who can save people, so prayer, Bible study, and fellowship with other slaves of Christ is absolutely essential in determining:
A) If the victim wants to be rescued
B) Your true motives for rescuing the victim (i.e. are you doing this to glorify Christ or just because you are romantically interested in the victim?)
C) If you are the person who Christ has appointed to rescue that victim (HINT: if your motive is option 2 from B, then you probably aren't)
D) What actions you need to take if you are that person
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.*
*Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)
**Romans 6:23 (ESV)
I found this out the hard way at a previous company I worked at. I once had an attractive female colleague who chose to be with a man who verbally abused her, trained their students to verbally abuse her, and physically bullied and sexually harassed her friends. Yet, she partied with him all the time, would always do things for him when asked, and after he pulled a "Midnight Run" to a different country, stayed in touch with him and told us about his latest exploits.
In other words, SHE LOVED HIM.
Why?
Because people are SICK. And one major sign of someone who is REALLY sick is that they display masochistic tendencies. The human heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can understand it? *
In a different sense, I've had similar behavior. Once, I was the male equivalent of a "Damsel-In-Distress": a "Lost Boy." A "Lost Boy" is a guy who seeks out relationships with girls who verbally abuse and publicly humiliate him for their own amusement. These bad girls (whom I will refer to as "Black Swans"), like their bad boy counterparts (whom I will refer to as "Dragons"), also typically exploit the Lost Boy for a resource that he has (which is not always money or sex).
From personal experience, Lost Boys attract "Wendys", the female equivalent of Knights in Shining Armor. These girls typically try to rescue the Lost Boy by behaving like Wendy from "Peter Pan." They basically mother and "big sister" him through being the shoulder to cry on (although the Lost Boy typically "cries" through brooding and venting), and through acts of service like doing his laundry, making/buying him food, etc., and showering him with praise and affection. This is typically with the hope that the Lost Boy comes to his senses and ditches the Black Swan. Often, like the Knight in Shining Armor, the Wendy secretly hopes that the one she rescues will become romantically interested in her if she is kind enough to him.
As we all know, this almost never happens. Most of the time, the Lost Boy, like the Damsel-In-Distress, is a masochist. They get a sick thrill out of being a victim, so they choose to remain in the abusive situation and allow themselves to be bullied and exploited. In other words, THEY ENJOY IT.
This is the real reason why some damsels like being in distress, and why not all lost boys want to be found. THEY LIKE BEING ABUSED AND BULLIED. IT MAKES THEM HAPPY.
But that's not the worst of it. When the Lost Boy chooses to be bullied by a Black Swan for too long, he will eventually turn on his Wendy and start being abusive and hostile towards his rescuer. I call this the "Werewolf Transformation"; the victim becomes the bully and "passes it forward." It's the male equivalent of when a Damsel-In-Distress is bullied by a Dragon to the point where she turns on and starts becoming abusive and hostile towards her Knight in Shining Armor, which I call the "Vampire Transformation." The victim becomes the bully.
Fortunately, Jesus Christ has the power to rescue everyone involved in this complete and utter cluster-screw. In my case, Jesus Christ transformed me from a Lost Boy into a "Dark Knight", a guy who has been divinely empowered to leave the toxic waters of the Black Swans and never look back. Christ also does the same with Damsels-In-Distress, transforming them into "Tiger Lilys", empowering them to forsake the Dragon's lair for good. Jesus Christ is the only One who can save people, so prayer, Bible study, and fellowship with other slaves of Christ is absolutely essential in determining:
A) If the victim wants to be rescued
B) Your true motives for rescuing the victim (i.e. are you doing this to glorify Christ or just because you are romantically interested in the victim?)
C) If you are the person who Christ has appointed to rescue that victim (HINT: if your motive is option 2 from B, then you probably aren't)
D) What actions you need to take if you are that person
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.*
*Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)
**Romans 6:23 (ESV)
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