Today, I am still reeling from a situation where someone screwed me over several months back. For a completely frivolous reason, they threw me under the bus and turned my life upside-down. I will explain the situation in my memoir, which I am calling "That Was Then, This Is Now." However, I will say that just because someone claims to be a brother in Christ, does not mean that they will always act like it.
Let's just face it: life isn't fair. Therefore, it is no surprise that sometimes, you will be given the wrong end of the stick. The fact is that anyone who claims that people are inherently good has either been blessed to live in an unusually good community, or is simply naive. The fact is that, as Romans 3: 11 states, "There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God." People are sinners, and ultimately, are only out for themselves. Dale Carnegie put it this way:
"When dealing with people, remember that you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice, and motivated by pride and vanity."
In my case, I was stabbed in the back by someone who lacked the courage to stand up to someone else's emotions and prejudice. It was rather ironic, because this other person was under their authority, and not the other way around. However, even though people are going to misuse you and abuse you in life, you really only have one option when it comes to dealing with them: forgiveness. Now obviously, if the situation warrants it, you must take whatever LEGAL options you have at your disposal to rectify it. God is not honored by vigilantism. However, you still need to forgive others, for these simple reasons.
1) Your bitterness is only hurting yourself. Your offender has probably forgotten about what they've done to you and moved on to screwing someone else over. Don't let them hurt you any more than they already have. Release the pain and move on.
2) "Getting even" does not make them better. It makes you worse. Not to mention that it will likely lead to really bad consequences, such as getting fired or going to jail. One extreme example of this is "West Side Story", where Tony kills Bernardo after Bernardo kills his best friend, Riff. Due to his actions, Tony not only severely damaged his relationship with Maria, but he also became a fugitive and was eventually killed himself by Bernardo's own best friend, Chino. Now, obviously, none of us are 1950s gangsters, so we probably won't find ourselves in that position. However, it is important to note that it is far better to keep our cool than to react in a way that will get us into serious trouble.
3) We need to forgive because God forgived us. Remember, Jesus took the heat for what we did. We were the ones who turned our backs on God. We were the ones who betrayed Him and screwed Him over, even though He did nothing but good to us. Yet, He chose offer us forgiveness, coming down from heaven and dying on the cross so that we could go to heaven instead of burning in hell forever.
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)
So in my case, I am simply going to forgive the person and move on with my life. Now, it is important to remember that, as my friend Pastor Marv said, forgiveness is an ongoing process. Memories of what happened to you are going to cause anger to flare up in your heart. That being said, when this happens, for your own sake, forgive them again. And again. And again. Eventually, you will heal, and be freed from the evil which they have done to you forever. Then you will learn what Booker T. Washington had discovered before he said this:
"We are most like God when we forgive."
