For many writers, nothing is worse than getting a critiqued on their work. They cringe and squeal in writer's groups and creative writing classes, gasping as though they are watching the murder of their firstborn. Or they become defensive and stubborn, either ridiculing those who dare suggest that they improve anything about their "masterpiece", or pouting and crossing their arms, turning a deaf ear to advice that would be beneficial if they would only be mature and listen. However, the fact is, constructive criticism is the best way to improve your work. Like exercising, it will leave you sore and exhausted, but ultimately, it will make you stronger. So here are some dos and don'ts when it comes to dealing with criticism.
1) Do listen to what everyone has to say. After all, they are trying to help you and can provide a more objective viewpoint about your work than you ever could.
2) Don't try to please everyone. It's not possible and will only leave you frustrated.
3) Do realized that it's not personal...most of the time. Generally speaking, whether or not they like your writing has nothing to do with how they feel about you as a person.
4) Don't sink to the level of the few bad apples who are taking cheap shots at you. This is fighting fire with fire: everyone will end up burnt to a crisp. If someone is really hitting you "below the belt" in their critiques (such as calling you names or insulting your family) it's better to go to the teacher or group leader to handle it. If they turn a blind eye to the behavior, leave. Immediately.
5) Do pay particular attention to the people who most closely resemble your target audience, or who have the most in common with your characters. For example, if you are writing about a teenage boy and you are a woman, or you are a man writing about a teenage girl, pay extra attention to comments made by the opposite sex.
6) Don't argue with the experts. For example, if one of your critics is a black belt in karate and he says that your fight scenes need to be fixed, don't challenge him on it. You'll just look obnoxious and silly. Seek a second opinion from another expert or do some research on your own if you want to prove yourself right that badly.
7) When it's your turn to do a critique, be honest and tactful as well. Your goal is to help them become a better writer, not to massage their ego or crush their spirit.
8) Don't be offended if they don't take your advice. Since it's their work, they have the final say, and they will face the consequences sooner or later if they refuse to fix the errors in their work. Also, sometimes people "see the light" after letting your advice sink in, so just because they don't accept it now doesn't mean that they won't accept it later.
When done right, critiques can skyrocket your writing talent. For example, when I was in college, I took a creative writing class in which there was not just one, but five or six people who ran circles around me when it came to telling stories. That was the first (and last) time in my life that that has ever happened and my writing ability soared afterward because they led by example and provided excellent feedback. So work out your writing muscles and find a group of great critics. Your readers will thank you for it.
