Happy Belated Valentine's Day! I have some BAD NEWS!
Not everyone who wants citizenship in your heart as your only spouse will be an honest, hardworking individual who wants to contribute to your socio-emotional society. Many will just want to exploit you for the resources you have, and some will be career criminals who want to wreak havoc and murder your relationships and emotional well-being for fun! So you need to set up a wall to guard your heart from those who are coming in to emotionally rape and pillage. Clear boundaries need to be set. Here are mine:
Before I consider granting a woman romantic citizenship, she must:
1) Be born (and have chosen to remain for her entire existence) a female
2) Be a slave of Jesus Christ
3) Respect her father
4) Recognize her future husband as the leader of her family
5) Want to have and raise children (i.e. no birth control method not named "abstinence" allowed)
6) Be modest and classy (i.e. NO FLIRTING)
7) Be a virgin (just like me)
8) Be sober (no alcohol, drugs, smoking, pornography/masturbating (including to 50 Shades of Grey)
9) Recognize that marriage is one-man and one-woman united by Jesus Christ and is a lifelong commitment.
10) Not believe in divorce
11) Be mature, honest, and responsible, especially with finances
Whatever boundaries you set, Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life*.
This includes making sure that your boundaries are godly. For example, "cannot be black/white/Latino/Asian/Native American, etc." is not godly. It's racist. And Jesus Christ won't bless you with a wonderful spouse if you are sinning or hypocritical in your boundaries. For example, expecting a virgin when you spent all of your youth smashing the cheerleading squad and every sorority on campus...yeah, only if you get a TREMENDOUS amount of grace.
Also, don't create loopholes for people who are:
1) Drop dead gorgeous
2) Freaking rich
3) Got more connections than an extension cord (Power!)
I have done this and screwed myself over big time. Fortunately, I was blessed to find out who the con artist really was before I lost my most valuable asset: my virginity. I just wish I had not been cheated out of every other resource I had! But hey, if you let a scorpion ride on your back, then it's your fault you got stung!
So build your freaking wall, and protect yourself so that you aren't an emotional trainwreck after letting too many bandits stick you up! For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.**
*Proverbs 4:23
**Romans 6:23
