Sunday, September 20, 2015

September "Impossible" Prayer Project: Kim Kardashian!

Sorry about the delay, folks.  I got a new job in August and the transition was a bit hectic, but worth it.  Anyway, I completed the CM Punk prayer project and am currently doing my first "Impossible" prayer project: Kim Kardashian.

We all know that Kim Kardashian is a reality TV star and extremely wealthy celebrity who became famous for being in the kind of homemade "movie" your parents would not want you to watch or star in.  This would lead many to believe that she can't be reached by the gospel and that we shouldn't even try.  I, however, must disagree because of her early Christian counterpart: Mary Magdalene.

Mary Magdalene is Jesus' most famous female disciple.  Contrary to popular belief, she was not a prostitute (that was Mary, Lazarus' sister) and she and Jesus never married or had children.  However, Jesus did cast seven demons out of her (Luke 8:2), which indicates that her lifestyle before she met him was probably not the greatest (Matthew 12:25).  On top of that, she was clearly a woman with wealth, because she was one of Jesus' financial supporters during his earthly ministry (Luke 8:2-3).  In other words, she was a rich lady with a less-than-admirable past.  Sound familiar?

Like us, Kim Kardashian is a human being made in God's image whom He loves so much that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for her.  He completely transformed the life of Mary Magdalene, who was her first-century equivalent, and He can do the same with Kim if she puts her faith in Him as well.  I have already prayed fifteen minutes per day that she meets the same Savior who saved me, and will continue to do so for the rest of September.

"Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)     

Saturday, August 1, 2015

August Celebrity Prayer Project: CM Punk!

This month, I will pray for the former professional wrestler (and current UFC fighter) who made WWE watchable long after it ran out of creative steam: CM Punk!


CM Punk

CM Punk's candor, both in the ring and in his documentary, made me a huge fan and kept me watching WWE long after the company lost its mojo.  Photo from DailyWrestlingNews.com:  http://dailywrestlingnews.com/tna-star-invites-cm-punk-company/

I basically stopped watching WWE after Batista got buried and left the company, the Nexus angle ran its course, and the company's attempt to put Cena over at Wrestlemania 29 failed because it was the FOURTH time that The Rock dropped the belt (now known as the WWE World Heavyweight title) at that event.  Nonetheless, after CM Punk's infamous pipe bomb speech on 6/27/2011 (in particular the part where he had the balls to openly criticize Stephanie McMahon and her husband Triple H), I became glued to the screen every time he showed up to give us a break from the "Cena Gone Wild" show.  In addition to CM Punk's candor, I loved how he incorporated Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu moves into his matches, as well as his references to Marvel superheroes by shouting "It's Clobbering Time!" before matches and his Wolverine-esque sideburns.  His documentary, "CM Punk - Best In The World" is one of my favorites.  I was able to relate to him not fitting in with his peers at school and his resentment over the overt favoritism his family showed his brother, and admired him for having the courage to reject addictive substances because of his alcoholic father.  For that reason, I will pray for 15 minutes every day that CM Punk puts his faith the man who is truly the Best In The World: God incarnate, Jesus Christ Himself.

 

            

Friday, July 31, 2015

Orcas: The Wolves Of The Sea of Love

Think "Great Whites" are the scariest predator in the Sea of Love?  Think again!  In spite of the great P.R. that "Free Willy" gave to killer whales, they have earned their nickname in real life by slaughtering everything in the ocean except for people.  Even then, my uncle, who's a marine biologist, has told me stories about them chasing divers out of the water (think of this as an aquatic predator's version of screaming "Beat it!").  This is why I have nicknamed the second kind of player/playeress the "Orca", because they are the romantic equivalent of the killer whale.


"Free Willy" my butt!  Real Orcas are as savage as wolves, and their player/playeress equivalents are just as ravenous.  Photo from National Geographic: http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/wild/videos/clever-killer-whales/

"Great White" players/playeresses hunt virgins through stealth.  "Orca" players/playeresses hunt virgins through aggression and sheer numbers.  What typically happens is that one member of the "pod" (the scientific name for a ravenous wolf-pack of killer whales) picks out the "date" that they want to have for sexual dinner and get their gang to help them corral that individual into a compromising situation.  If the individual is really unfortunate, then other members of the pod will take turns having their way with them when the first Orca is finished, leading to all sorts of drama (and diseases) afterwards.  Orcas typically hunt at high school and college parties, coed sleepovers, nightclubs, and other events where there is a lot of drinking (or worse, drug use) going on.

 From personal experience, Orcas:
-Are usually young (late teens to early twenties)
-Are usually female
-Hunt in "pods" of three or more (if you are really unlucky, the pod can have as many as 15 members!)
-Are usually provocatively dressed, regardless of their gender
-Are very aggressive, flirty and "touchy-feely"
-Are very blunt and direct (asking you if you are single, what turns you on and if you have had any previous carnal experience when they barely know you)
-Are excessively friendly (inviting you to their house, their dorm, or to go clubbing with them when they just met you)
-Are very impatient, so they may try to get you drunk (or high if you're really unlucky) to make the seduction occur faster
-Are willing to resort to peer pressure and bullying if you get try to back out of their carnal schemes

So the next time a bunch of smoking hot babes (or studs if you're a girl) invite you to "hang out", especially to an event with a lot of drinking, BEWARE!  They may be Orcas out to devour the seal of your virginity!
    

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Shark Week! Recognizing The First Kind Of Romantic "Apex Predator"

You know how your friends always tell you that there are "plenty of fish in the sea" when it comes to romance (usually after you've been dumped)?  Well, some of those fish are SHARKS!!!!

In other words, you're not a possible spouse to these people.  YOU'RE DINNER!

This is especially true if you are a virgin seeking to stay pure before marriage.  Once you make that decision, every shark in the ocean of love will be trying to take a bite out of your butt.  The most dangerous kind of shark in this particular ocean is the person who I call the "Great White."


Your V-card has a much of a chance of surviving an attack from a "Great White" player/playeress as a seal does against the most vicious shark alive.  Photo from National Geographic: http://voices.nationalgeographic.com/2013/01/31/saving-sharks-one-photo-at-a-time/great-white-shark/

Great Whites are the apex predators of the dating world.  They usually hunt alone, although they sometimes work in pairs.  Like their namesake, they "circle you" by earning your trust and getting you emotionally involved with them.  They pretend to be your greatest confidant, listening patiently as you bare your soul to them, until they finally make a move by inviting you over to their place to "talk."  Then, when you least expect it....

CHOMP!

They sneak attack you from below like a stealthy 21-ft, 3-ton fish monster and, like an unsuspecting seal, your V-card goes flying out of the water in the mouth of their lust a la "Air Jaws."

Here are some common traits of a "Great White":
-They are usually male, although a growing percentage of females (mostly MILFs) are joining their ranks
-They are usually modestly dressed and very subtle so that they don't scare you off
-They are usually older (late twenties/early thirties)
-They are usually overqualified (i.e., a lot better-looking than you, a lot smarter than you, and have a lot more money than you)
-They constantly try to get you alone and are very persistent
-They are very observant and "helpful" (i.e. they offer you gas money or a ride home if you're broke)

So the next time a rich, unusually helpful, highly sophisticated, and dead-sexy woman (or man if you're a woman) shows a lot of interest in you, BEWARE!  They may be a Great White looking for their next meal. 

In my next post, I will discuss the other apex predator of the ocean of love: the Orca

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Overruled! What The True Definition Of Marriage Was, Is, & Always Will Be!

If I have not made it clear before, my goal in life is to lead others to Christ through staying a virgin until marriage and remaining faithful to my wife until death do us part.  That is why, in light of the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling this past Friday, I must clarify what I mean by marriage.  Even though the majority of America's judicial branch apparently feels differently, marriage is a God-ordained institution between ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN. 

IT IS THE ONLY KIND OF HOLY MATRIMONY THAT HAS, DOES, AND WILL EVER EXIST!

Long story short, when God created Adam, He made it clear that He was not supposed to be alone.  So He decided to give Adam a suitable helper (in other words, a wife).  He took one of Adam's ribs and created Eve and presented her to him, and in doing so, He completed mankind, His greatest masterpiece.  When Adam awoke and finally met his intimate best friend, he said this:


“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’for she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:23)

In other words, Eve was a GENETIC FEMALE!

More importantly, God was the one who brought them together.  For a marriage to truly experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace", both the husband and the wife must have a relationship with God.  Ultimately, the reason why "...a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Gen 2:24, NIV) is because it was GOD'S IDEA!  When God came to earth in the flesh as Jesus Christ, He affirmed this (see Mark 10:6-9).  

Look, as Christians, we are called to treat everyone with love and respect.  This holds true even when they act in ways that are morally reprehensible.  We must also obey those in authority, for God has chosen to use governments to maintain order in this world (which, as institutions run by sinners, they obviously don't do perfectly, to say the least).  At the same time, we must also live by truth and justice.  Christ's law supersedes man's law: if the two are ever in conflict, then we must obey God over man.  For ultimately, God is the source of love, truth, peace, justice, and joy.  He proved that when He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to be executed so that, if we believe in Him, we will be spared from the Lake of Fire and have eternal life. 

For that reason, whenever I discuss marriage on this blog, I will use Christ's definition, not man's.  Marriage is, was, and always will be a sacred institution in which ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN are brought together in holy matrimony by God Himself.          

 
Mark 10: 6-9 "But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.' ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV)

Thursday, May 14, 2015

The 30-Year-Old Virgin: How My Streak Has Outlived My Youth

As my 20s came to an end, I was overcome by stark terror and soul-crushing despair.  During the latter half of my young adult years, I dealt with a crippling personal issue, family conflict, being a social outcast at church, financial woes, and disastrous trials in the workplace (when I was blessed to have a job at all-suffice it to say that America is not the "Land of Opportunity" anymore).  On the eve of my 30th birthday, I felt like a complete and utter failure.
 
Despite what my society at large says, life doesn't end at 30.  In fact, Christ Himself didn't even START His earthly ministry until He was 30.  My favorite historical figure from the Bible, Joseph, was 30 when he came Prime Minister of Egypt, and David, Israel's greatest King (excluding Jesus), didn't even become the ruler of God's chosen people until he was 30.  My life, in fact, has already started to turn around for the better.  My personal struggle is being resolved, my relationships with my family are being restored, I am in a church that loves and cares for me, my finances have improved significantly, and I now work at two great places where my bosses and coworkers treat me extremely well.  So when my birthday finally came, I received kindness from my friends, relatives, fellow church members, and the people whom I work with.   

Their kindness is a reminder from Christ that He still wants to use me for His glory.  If I have failed at my own personal bucket list (and it's not because I'm being chastised for making a donkey out of myself), then it means that Christ has even better plans for me than I do for myself and doesn't want me to settle. 

At any rate, I do have one success.  Even though my youth has passed, my Virginity "Streak" has survived.  I will still be able to look my future wife in the eye (whoever she is) and tell her that she is my first.  I need to stay vigilant, though.  My culture has become more sex-obsessed than ever, and now the women are just as aggressive as the men.  I still receive "attention" from beautiful young women and I would be lying if I said it wasn't tempting.  I know that if a 22-year-old supermodel cornered me in a hotel room and came on to me, she would probably turn me out and make me look stupid to the people I am trying to reach for Christ.  I also need to watch out for the "Potiphar's wives" out there; the gorgeous mature women who have years of experience when it comes to turning men out and making them look stupid.  So I must continue to set and enforce boundaries and, if necessary, run from these women if the temptation becomes too great.  At the same time, I must remember that the most powerful temptation does not come from them, or Satan and his demons, but my own heart.  So I must also follow Christ to continue my transformation into a godly man of love, honor, justice, and integrity.  If I do, then both myself and my future wife will lead others to Christ with our marriage.  Enjoying "Romantic World Peace" and "The Sexual Force Unleashed" will be fun rewards for us, too...

Genesis 41:46 "Joseph was thirty years old when he entered the service of Pharaoh king of Egypt. And Joseph went out from Pharaoh’s presence and traveled throughout Egypt." (NIV)            

Bane! What You Should Avoid Becoming In Your Quest For Sexual Purity!

One of my favorite movie villains is Bane from "Dark Knight Rises."  In the film, he is reimagined as a terrorist leader dedicated to punishing the decadent city of Gotham for its sins.  In doing so, he targets its protector, Batman, breaks his back, and drags him to a foreign prison, where he intends to make him watch the destruction of his beloved city before he permits him to die.

http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/Bane-Dark-Knight-Rises-image-Tom-Hardy2.jpg


Bane, played by Tom Hardy in "Dark Knight Rises", was an absolutely terrifying, psychopathic zealot.  Make sure that, in your quest for purity, you do not become his spiritual equivalent.  Photo (which is used for fair use/commentary only) from Steve 'Frosty' Weintraub at Collider: http://collider.com/tom-hardy-the-dark-knight-rises-interview/ 

What's very interesting about Christopher Nolan's versions of Bane and Batman is that they are cut from the same cloth.  In fact, in Nolan's "Batman" trilogy, they both share common training under Ra's Al Ghul in the League of Shadows.  But there is one key difference: Batman understands that the act does not always justify the means, which is why he forsakes the League of Shadows to become Gotham's hero.  Bane does not, and becomes a monster that's so ferocious that Ra's Al Ghul himself decides to excommunicate him.  So whereas Batman wants to fight Gotham's corruption by fighting crime and cooperating with the police to save the city's citizens, Bane simply wants to blow it into a million pieces.  Each character's methods shows what they are really motivated by: selfless devotion to the Greater Good (Batman) or a self-righteous desire to elevate oneself by condemning others (Bane).

I am bringing this up because I have met many church members who say that they are good Christians but are simply "Banes" in disguise.  Instead of being sexually pure to lead others to Christ, they do it to make themselves feel superior to others.  So when they run into people who have struggled with sexual sin in the past (or who were pure before but have since fallen into temptation), they either ostracize them socially or throw them out of the church entirely.  I'm not talking about Christians who simply administer church discipline or who cast out people who refuse to admit wrongdoing and justify sinful behavior.  I'm talking about church members who refuse to forgive and restore others who have admitted wrongdoing and are willing to do whatever it takes to make amends.

Let me make myself very clear: doing the right thing for the wrong reason is the wrong thing.  If you do this, you turn into the Pharisees, who were basically "The League of Shadows" of the Jewish faith when Christ was alive.  In doing this, you can become what Paul was before he was saved: Saul of Tarsus, the "Bane" of the Pharisees who ruthlessly had Christians imprisoned and killed before he was converted on the road to Damascus.  Don't become a spiritual "Bane" in your quest for purity.  Stay pure to honor God, not yourself!

Matthew 23: 27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.  In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness." (NIV)