She's Not The One Post #2: She Doesn't Respect Her Father

If a woman doesn't respect her father, then SHE WON'T RESPECT YOU!

Until a girl hits puberty, her father (assuming she was blessed with one that didn't ditch her family), is her hero.  He sets the standard for what kind of man she will marry one day.  More importantly, he is the one who teaches her what is and isn't ok to say or do to a man.  So if her dad is a wimp who gives her everything she wants, no matter how much she abuses him, guess what message she receives?

IT'S OK TO TREAT HER HUSBAND THE SAME WAY.

Big problem since for the marriage to work, she's supposed to submit* to you, and you are supposed to love her enough to die for her:

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."  (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). 

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25, ESV)

Rest assured, if she bullies her father, she will bully you.  Bullying and submitting don't mix.  Then you will stop loving her, and the situation will get worse until your whole marriage crumbles.  Because either she will lose so much respect for you that she dumps you, or you will get tired of getting kicked around and ragequit the marriage yourself.  And if you have kids, things will get very messy, very quickly.  Think of a mini-version of the U.S. Civil War and your children as the emotional casualties. 

So even if she claims to be a Christian, look at how she treats her father.  She doesn't have to like him, but she does have to love and respect him.  Remember: your marriage needs to be a clear reflection of God's Triune Nature, so that you can preach the gospel and people can surrender to Jesus Christ and be saved from the Lake of Fire. 

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.**  

*Submit does not mean subject yourself to threatening, violent, or sexually degrading behavior.  If you are in this situation, MOVE OUT IMMEDIATELY.  Biblically, divorce is not permitted for abuse (only adultery), but legal separation is perfectly fine. 

**Romans 6:23 (ESV)

She's Not The One Post #1: She's Not A Slave Of Christ

Slaves of Christ should only marry slaves of Christ.  Even though I have never been married, I learned this the hard way when I pursued relationships with unbelievers in the not-so-distant past.  It's very tempting when you meet an unbelieving woman who is young, beautiful, intelligent, kind, and humorous to bend the rules and missionary date.  Don't do it.  It will be worse than Batman marrying Talia Al'Ghul in Christopher Nolan's "The Dark Knight Rises."  You defected from the real, Satanic "League of Shadows" when you surrendered to Christ.  The unbelieving woman has not.  That means you and a woman who has not completely and unconditional surrendered to Christ ARE IMMORTAL ENEMIES.  

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? *

We cannot preach the gospel by defending Christ-centered, one-man, one-woman marriages if we are banging people who hate Jesus!  Remember, we have defected, and we aren't evil anymore.  Christ changed us when we surrendered to Him.  So that others can experience the same transformation, and salvation from the Lake of Fire, we must only marry women who have also chosen to leave Satan's kingdom of darkness for Christ's kingdom of Light.  For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.*

*2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)

*Romans 6:23 (ESV)

BAD NEWS: You Are Your Coworkers' Enemy!

Slaves of Christ know the truth: that only submission to Jesus Christ leads to escape from the Lake of Fire, and sharing in His victory.  Everyone else believes that whoever dies with the most toys wins (the title of "most pious, self-denying, and transcendent individual" is also a toy).  Due to this, from the perspective of your coworkers, YOU ARE AN ENEMY!

This doesn't mean you can't build healthy relationships and friendships in the office.  However, it does mean that those will be few and far between.  This will especially be the case when you become the top performer in the office.  Being the top performer in the office (whichever field you are in), makes you the UFC champion, and when that happens, YOU WILL BE A MARKED MAN/WOMAN! 

Many of these people will try to get you fired.  In some areas of the world, some will try to get you arrested, deported or executed. 

This will be especially the case if people find out you are a slave of Christ.  Ruthlessly ambitious people hate Jesus Christ.  They want to be their own "gods."   

"Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves." (Matthew 10:16, ESV)

In order to survive, you must pray, read your Bible, and seek out other sincere, authentic believers.  You must also guard your heart and root out all sin so that you don't give your enemies the tools they need to destroy you.  These things are essential in order to ensure that you can earn true rewards in eternity, and lead others to Christ so that they can escape from the Lake of Fire.  For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.*  

*Romans 6:23 (ESV)

BAD NEWS: People Don't Always Tell The Truth

The only man who will always tell you the truth is Jesus Christ.

Almost everyone else is a LIAR, and those rare people who don't lie do other evil things. 
That means that, as you seek a godly spouse, you will run into lots of people who are FAKES.  These are the dating equivalent of antichrists.  They will COPY aspects of Jesus so that they can trick you into being a relationship with you, and pretend to be loving, just, and pious.  However, that's all it is: A TRICK!  They only care about getting what they want, which is normally:

1) Your money
2) Your body

So how do you tell if you are getting hosed by a dating antichrist? It's very simple.  Present them to Jesus Christ and ask Him if they are the one.  He'll give you a thumbs up or thumbs down.  It's that simple.  (Hint, if that person is already married, or is not of the complementary gender, then the answer is an automatic thumbs down!)

And if He gives you a thumbs-down, DUMP THEM!

In order to effectively preach the gospel, you must reflect Christ in your relationships.  For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.*

*Romans 6:23 (ESV)

Build The Freaking Wall! How To Maintain The National Sovereignty Of Your Heart

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!  I have some BAD NEWS!

Not everyone who wants citizenship in your heart as your only spouse will be an honest, hardworking individual who wants to contribute to your socio-emotional society.  Many will just want to exploit you for the resources you have, and some will be career criminals who want to wreak havoc and murder your relationships and emotional well-being for fun!  So you need to set up a wall to guard your heart from those who are coming in to emotionally rape and pillage.  Clear boundaries need to be set.  Here are mine:

Before I consider granting a woman romantic citizenship, she must:

1) Be born (and have chosen to remain for her entire existence) a female
2) Be a slave of Jesus Christ
3) Respect her father
4) Recognize her future husband as the leader of her family
5) Want to have and raise children (i.e. no birth control method not named "abstinence" allowed)
6) Be modest and classy (i.e. NO FLIRTING)
7) Be a virgin (just like me)
8) Be sober (no alcohol, drugs, smoking, pornography/masturbating (including to 50 Shades of Grey)
9) Recognize that marriage is one-man and one-woman united by Jesus Christ and is a lifelong commitment.
10) Not believe in divorce
11) Be mature, honest, and responsible, especially with finances

Whatever boundaries you set, Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life*.
This includes making sure that your boundaries are godly.  For example, "cannot be black/white/Latino/Asian/Native American, etc." is not godly.  It's racist.  And Jesus Christ won't bless you with a wonderful spouse if you are sinning or hypocritical in your boundaries.  For example, expecting a virgin when you spent all of your youth smashing the cheerleading squad and every sorority on campus...yeah, only if you get a TREMENDOUS amount of grace. 

Also, don't create loopholes for people who are:
1) Drop dead gorgeous
2) Freaking rich
3) Got more connections than an extension cord (Power!)

I have done this and screwed myself over big time.  Fortunately, I was blessed to find out who the con artist really was before I lost my most valuable asset: my virginity.  I just wish I had not been cheated out of every other resource I had!  But hey, if you let a scorpion ride on your back, then it's your fault you got stung!

So build your freaking wall, and protect yourself so that you aren't an emotional trainwreck after letting too many bandits stick you up!  For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.**

*Proverbs 4:23
**Romans 6:23



  

Some Damsels Like Being In Distress (And Not All Lost Boys Want To Be Found)

Some people like being abused.  It makes them happy.

I found this out the hard way at a previous company I worked at.  I once had an attractive female colleague who chose to be with a man who verbally abused her, trained their students to verbally abuse her, and physically bullied and sexually harassed her friends.  Yet, she partied with him all the time, would always do things for him when asked, and after he pulled a "Midnight Run" to a different country, stayed in touch with him and told us about his latest exploits.

In other words, SHE LOVED HIM.

Why?

Because people are SICK.  And one major sign of someone who is REALLY sick is that they display masochistic tendencies.  The human heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.  Who can understand it? *

In a different sense, I've had similar behavior.  Once, I was the male equivalent of a "Damsel-In-Distress": a "Lost Boy." A "Lost Boy" is a guy who seeks out relationships with girls who verbally abuse and publicly humiliate him for their own amusement.  These bad girls (whom I will refer to as "Black Swans"), like their bad boy counterparts (whom I will refer to as "Dragons"), also typically exploit the Lost Boy for a resource that he has (which is not always money or sex).

From personal experience, Lost Boys attract "Wendys", the female equivalent of Knights in Shining Armor.  These girls typically try to rescue the Lost Boy by behaving like Wendy from "Peter Pan."  They basically mother and "big sister" him through being the shoulder to cry on (although the Lost Boy typically "cries" through brooding and venting), and through acts of service like doing his laundry, making/buying him food, etc., and showering him with praise and affection.  This is typically with the hope that the Lost Boy comes to his senses and ditches the Black Swan.  Often, like the Knight in Shining Armor, the Wendy secretly hopes that the one she rescues will become romantically interested in her if she is kind enough to him.

As we all know, this almost never happens.  Most of the time, the Lost Boy, like the Damsel-In-Distress, is a masochist.  They get a sick thrill out of being a victim, so they choose to remain in the abusive situation and allow themselves to be bullied and exploited.  In other words, THEY ENJOY IT.

This is the real reason why some damsels like being in distress, and why not all lost boys want to be found.  THEY LIKE BEING ABUSED AND BULLIED.  IT MAKES THEM HAPPY. 

But that's not the worst of it.  When the Lost Boy chooses to be bullied by a Black Swan for too long, he will eventually turn on his Wendy and start being abusive and hostile towards his rescuer.  I call this the "Werewolf Transformation"; the victim becomes the bully and "passes it forward."  It's the male equivalent of when a Damsel-In-Distress is bullied by a Dragon to the point where she turns on and starts becoming abusive and hostile towards her Knight in Shining Armor, which I call the "Vampire Transformation."  The victim becomes the bully.

Fortunately, Jesus Christ has the power to rescue everyone involved in this complete and utter cluster-screw.  In my case, Jesus Christ transformed me from a Lost Boy into a "Dark Knight", a guy who has been divinely empowered to leave the toxic waters of the Black Swans and never look back.  Christ also does the same with Damsels-In-Distress, transforming them into "Tiger Lilys", empowering them to forsake the Dragon's lair for good.  Jesus Christ is the only One who can save people, so prayer, Bible study, and fellowship with other slaves of Christ is absolutely essential in determining:

A) If the victim wants to be rescued
B) Your true motives for rescuing the victim (i.e. are you doing this to glorify Christ or just because you are romantically interested in the victim?)
C) If you are the person who Christ has appointed to rescue that victim (HINT: if your motive is option 2 from B, then you probably aren't)
D) What actions you need to take if you are that person

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.*


*Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)
**Romans 6:23 (ESV)

Lesson Learned The Hard Way: You Should NEVER Be Friends With Everyone

"You should always accept your friends for who they are."

Really?  So, you should accept your "friend" if they are a:

1) Liar
2) Backstabber
3) Thief
4) Discriminatory
5) Womanizer
6) Coward
7) Sadist

Etc., etc., etc.?

NO!

Yes, we should be polite and respectful and love our enemies.  But we are also called to be as cunning as serpents.  That means we should never enter into a friendship (be it a social one, a business one, a ministerial one, or a marital one) with someone who a) likes being evil b) enjoys being evil.  Proverbs has a dirty laundry list of the types of people whom you should never, ever, associate with at all.  However, Jesus kept it simple with the following verse:

"Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you." (Matthew 7:6)

In context, this verse is about not giving the gospel to people who never, ever want to hear it.  However, it can also be applied to who you give your friendship to.  Remember, every human being not named Jesus Christ is EVIL until they completely and unconditionally surrender to Him.  The bottomless pit of human depravity is confirmed by what is reported in Yahoo!News headlines.  In other words, most people who want to be your friend just want to use you for:

1) Your money
2) Your body
3) Your status in society
4) Your citizenship (if you are from the first world)
5) A valuable skill or other resource you have

From personal experience, once these people get what they want from you, or find someone whom they believe can give it to them faster and in more abundance, or believe that you are no longer of use to them, they trample all over your friendship and attack you like a wild boar.  For this reason, I now ask the Holy Spirit whether or not I should trust someone, and if He gives me the thumbs down, I have nothing to do with that person.  Ever.

In order to preach the gospel, we, as slaves of Christ, need to protect our emotional health.  This means staying away from dogs and pigs who want to dismember our hearts.  For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.*

*Romans 6:23