Saturday, September 27, 2014
Doomsday! Who Is The Villain Of Lust That Can Put You Down?
In the "Death of Superman" graphic novel, the Last Son of Krypton finally meets his match in an unstoppable monstrosity known as Doomsday. Even though Superman manages to defeat Doomsday and keep him from destroying Metropolis, he does so at the cost of his life. In a similar manner, every Christian man and woman has a "Doomsday" who can cost them the life of their future marriage by defeating their V-card.
Now, when I am talking about your own personal Doomsday, I'm not simply describing the smoking hot college babe who is stacked like an Egyptian pyramid or the totally ripped 27-year-old stud who has a package that makes the Titanic look like a rubber ducky. These type of people really fall under the category of "Kryptonite", because they make you drool/faint whenever they are around, but you don't think about them that much when they're gone. Your Doomsday is the type of person whom:
1) You obsess over day and night
2) You constantly find excuses to be around
3) You have the kind of fantasies about that would make porn directors/literotica writers think you've gone batcrap crazy
4) If given the right opportunity (or excuse), you would practically swan dive under the sheets with
Whoever your Doomsday is will vary, depending on your personality and background. Your Doomsday will also be a lot more sophisticated than a dead-sexy twenty-something (although you should be on guard around them, too). For example, because of the high divorce rate in my country, a lot of young women grew up without their fathers. Their "Doomsdays" tend to be older men who are unusually empathetic and affirming, a fact which has often been used to exploit them.
In the case of a young man I know (who will simply be called Marty) his "Doomsday villains" tend to fall into the "best friend's hot older sister" category. These girls don't even have to actually be related to any of his friends. They just have to "fit the mold" (i.e. be mature, modest, 4-5 years older, sophisticated, and eager to seduce young men like Marty "on the sly"). So after Marty decided to dedicate himself to a life of purity, guess who came on to him?
THE HOT OLDER SISTER OF ONE OF HIS FRIENDS!!!!
Unfortunately for Marty:
1) His friend was the leader of the church group he was attending
2) The hot, older sister happened to be married
(That's another thing: your fantasies tend to leave out real-life complications such as these which would reveal your sinful desires as stupid, if not downright suicidal).
Fortunately, Marty did not take the bait. In fact, Marty doesn't even hang out with that group anymore.
So why is it so important to find out who your "Doomsday villain" is?
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, EITHER THE PLAYERS/PLAYERESSES WHO WANT YOU FOR DINNER OR THE DEMONIC FORCES WHO WANT TO DESTROY YOUR CHRISTIAN WITNESS WILL FIGURE IT OUT, AND THEY WILL USE IT AGAINST YOU!
So basically, you can either figure out what kind of person has the ability to put you down at will, and, through the power of the Holy Spirit, develop protective measures and take evasive action to keep your V-card intact and be a "Superman/Superwoman" of integrity. Or, you can self-righteously believe that you are immune to temptation, become complacent, and get sexually, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually slaughtered by your personal Doomsday.
What will it be, Mr. (or Miss) Kent?
1 Corinthians 10:12 "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!" (NIV)
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: Why I Am So Adamant About Setting Boundaries
Because Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, the wonderful sex drive that God has given us is no longer only triggered by our spouse. Now, our sex drives are triggered by ANY attractive member of the opposite sex. I set strong boundaries with my female friends in order to make sure that we stay friends and keep our integrity. The reason I would like to give for this is that I paid attention to the godly counsel and wisdom of my parents and never veered off the path of righteousness.
The real reason is that when I was in college, I strayed away from God and almost threw away the most valuable gift that anyone can give to their spouse because I was young and stupid. That close-call scared me back onto the path of righteousness.
And guess who the girl was? A female friend from a strict, conservative background who was always dressed head-to-toe, despised alcohol, and, aside from polite greetings, ignored most of the guys she met. Even though I did find her attractive, she didn't seem interested in me at all, so I didn't even bother asking her out on a date. I found out that she secretly liked me back MONTHS later when, while watching a movie in her room late at night, we randomly started making out. I would love to say that, in the heat of the moment, I came to my senses, remembered that I was a virtuous Christian gentleman, and adamantly declined any further misconduct in order to protect my integrity and her honor.
In actuality, I was still drunk from clubbing earlier that night and blurted out that I was saving myself until marriage. So she went on a guilt trip and decided not to sleep with me.
Ironically, she cared more about my future wife than I did at the time.
Leading up to that point, I committed many of the errors in judgment that lead most people to destroy their future marriages before they even begin. Chiefly, being drunk and spending a lot of time alone with a member of the opposite gender, even someone who was "just a friend." For that reason, I don't drink anymore, I avoid nightclubs and bars like the plague, and I only hang out with girls during group activities like game night at church young adult groups. And guess what? I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A COMPROMISING POSITION SINCE!
Please understand that I played Russian Roulette and lucked out with an empty chamber. In spite of committing some serious errors in judgment, I am still a virgin. In the majority of compromising situations, V-cards get torched, Baby Momma Drama gets started, STDs go "Biological MMA" on private parts, and sexual expectations are set which future spouses can't meet past their twenties (if at all). Don't play Russian Roulette with your virginity. Set boundaries with your opposite gender friends. And, while we're at it, STAY SOBER.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 "Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity."
The real reason is that when I was in college, I strayed away from God and almost threw away the most valuable gift that anyone can give to their spouse because I was young and stupid. That close-call scared me back onto the path of righteousness.
And guess who the girl was? A female friend from a strict, conservative background who was always dressed head-to-toe, despised alcohol, and, aside from polite greetings, ignored most of the guys she met. Even though I did find her attractive, she didn't seem interested in me at all, so I didn't even bother asking her out on a date. I found out that she secretly liked me back MONTHS later when, while watching a movie in her room late at night, we randomly started making out. I would love to say that, in the heat of the moment, I came to my senses, remembered that I was a virtuous Christian gentleman, and adamantly declined any further misconduct in order to protect my integrity and her honor.
In actuality, I was still drunk from clubbing earlier that night and blurted out that I was saving myself until marriage. So she went on a guilt trip and decided not to sleep with me.
Ironically, she cared more about my future wife than I did at the time.
Leading up to that point, I committed many of the errors in judgment that lead most people to destroy their future marriages before they even begin. Chiefly, being drunk and spending a lot of time alone with a member of the opposite gender, even someone who was "just a friend." For that reason, I don't drink anymore, I avoid nightclubs and bars like the plague, and I only hang out with girls during group activities like game night at church young adult groups. And guess what? I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A COMPROMISING POSITION SINCE!
Please understand that I played Russian Roulette and lucked out with an empty chamber. In spite of committing some serious errors in judgment, I am still a virgin. In the majority of compromising situations, V-cards get torched, Baby Momma Drama gets started, STDs go "Biological MMA" on private parts, and sexual expectations are set which future spouses can't meet past their twenties (if at all). Don't play Russian Roulette with your virginity. Set boundaries with your opposite gender friends. And, while we're at it, STAY SOBER.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 "Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity."
Personal Tragedy Last Week. Thanks For the Condolences And Prayers.
Hello everyone,
I was not able to blog last weekend because of a family tragedy. I appreciate your understanding and thank you all for your prayers and condolences.
I was not able to blog last weekend because of a family tragedy. I appreciate your understanding and thank you all for your prayers and condolences.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Free At Last: How Forgiveness Can Provide Escape From Slavery To Sexual Addiction
I have met many girls who were "sexually swindled" by players who manipulated these young ladies by convincing them that they loved them. In reality, these men only loved their vajayjay and dumped them as soon as they got what they wanted. On top of that, there is a rising population of playeresses who bleed guys dry as human credit cards with sexual reward points. Then, like their male counterparts, these women cast these young men aside without remorse. Many people of my generation are bitter and disillusioned as a result, which has caused them to become addicted to forbidden sexual acts. Even worse, many of these acts, in addition to self-medication for the pain that they feel, are perverse ways to try to "get even" with the men and women who used them.
"Look at what you are making me do to myself!" These victims scream through their actions, believing that somehow the player/playeress will find out and feel so guilty that they throw themselves headfirst into the Lake of Fire.
In non-sexual areas of my life, I've played this "martyr game" myself, subconsciously believing that the dirtbag who screwed me over would somehow find out and condemn themselves to a life of self-loathing for what they did. Unfortunately, this is what actually happened:
1) The dirtbag found me
2) The dirtbag screwed me
3) The dirtbag forgot me
4) The dirtbag screwed somebody else over
Look, if some player/playeress used and dumped you, you have every right to hate their guts. Unfortunately, exercising that particular right will just waste your time because this is how these kind of people operate:
1) The player/playeress screws you
2) The player/playeress dumps you
3) The player/playeress forgets you
4) The player/playeress does the same thing to somebody else
So while you're throwing your chances of experiencing "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" through a plate-glass window, these scumbags are going along their merry scumbag way, leaving more relational carnage in their wake. They have no remorse for what they did to you and aren't concerned about how badly they hurt you. They're too busy screwing other people over to care.
So what do you do if a player/playeress has turned you out and made you feel (and look) stupid?
1) Turn your entire life, including that past situation, over to Christ. This is the only way to truly experience freedom and healing.
2) Forgive the player/playeress for using you so that bitterness does not enslave you to a life of forbidden sexual acts.
3) Repent for the forbidden sexual acts that you committed with that player/playeress. Even though they lied/cheated/manipulated/bribed you, etc., it's important to remember that, if you consented, you are just as responsible for the loss of your V-card as they are.
4) If necessary, seek legal action for child support payments, to get custody of your kids if that person is strung out on drugs, etc.
5) Commit your sexuality to Jesus so that He can transform you into a resurrected virgin and allow you to experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" within a Christ-centered marriage!
Matthew 6:12-13, "Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one." (NIV)
"Look at what you are making me do to myself!" These victims scream through their actions, believing that somehow the player/playeress will find out and feel so guilty that they throw themselves headfirst into the Lake of Fire.
In non-sexual areas of my life, I've played this "martyr game" myself, subconsciously believing that the dirtbag who screwed me over would somehow find out and condemn themselves to a life of self-loathing for what they did. Unfortunately, this is what actually happened:
1) The dirtbag found me
2) The dirtbag screwed me
3) The dirtbag forgot me
4) The dirtbag screwed somebody else over
Look, if some player/playeress used and dumped you, you have every right to hate their guts. Unfortunately, exercising that particular right will just waste your time because this is how these kind of people operate:
1) The player/playeress screws you
2) The player/playeress dumps you
3) The player/playeress forgets you
4) The player/playeress does the same thing to somebody else
So while you're throwing your chances of experiencing "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" through a plate-glass window, these scumbags are going along their merry scumbag way, leaving more relational carnage in their wake. They have no remorse for what they did to you and aren't concerned about how badly they hurt you. They're too busy screwing other people over to care.
So what do you do if a player/playeress has turned you out and made you feel (and look) stupid?
1) Turn your entire life, including that past situation, over to Christ. This is the only way to truly experience freedom and healing.
2) Forgive the player/playeress for using you so that bitterness does not enslave you to a life of forbidden sexual acts.
3) Repent for the forbidden sexual acts that you committed with that player/playeress. Even though they lied/cheated/manipulated/bribed you, etc., it's important to remember that, if you consented, you are just as responsible for the loss of your V-card as they are.
4) If necessary, seek legal action for child support payments, to get custody of your kids if that person is strung out on drugs, etc.
5) Commit your sexuality to Jesus so that He can transform you into a resurrected virgin and allow you to experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" within a Christ-centered marriage!
Matthew 6:12-13, "Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one." (NIV)
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Your Christian "Spider-Sense": Detecting Threats To Your V-Card Before It's Too Late
My favorite superhero growing up was Spiderman. One of his more interesting abilities was his "Spider-Sense", which allowed him to detect danger before it appeared. This superpower gave him a chance to prepare for battle before the bad guys could get the drop on him. Unfortunately, we can't get superpowers from radioactive spiders in real life. Fortunately, God has given us a real life "Spider-Sense" which is typically known as either the "gut-feeling", "vibes", or "sixth sense." I find it helpful to call this "subconscious wisdom", because your brain is figuring things out so quickly that you know something is amiss on an instinctual level. This is the kind of wisdom that keeps zebras from becoming lion food in Africa and which will keep you from winding up on the dinner plate of the human "lions and lionesses" who want to devour the "zebra" that is your V-card.
I know a young man who has stayed a virgin up until now because he has trusted his instincts. I'll just call him Marty. An attractive young lady approached him after a training session at one of his previous jobs. She immediately started telling him about how much she liked him and his demeanor and continued to flatter him at work afterwards. Marty considered asking her out, but his "Spider-Sense" told him to not to. He remained polite, but didn't talk to her outside of work. As it turns out, he wasn't the only man who impressed this girl because within months of meeting her, she became pregnant out-of-wedlock with some other guy.
Now, I'm not saying that every woman that you meet wants to baby-trap you (or that every man who approaches you just wants to use you as a one night stand if you are a woman). I'm simply saying that if your instincts tell you that someone is "off", you better pay attention. In the same way that Marty's "Spider-Sense" saved his V-card and allowed him to avoid baby momma drama, so can your instincts save you from a lot of trouble.
So how do you develop your Christian "Spider-Sense" so that you can detect threats to your V-card?
1) Submit Your Life To Christ.
Because of sin, the "Spider-Sense" that we have has become corrupted. Since He is the only One who can repair it, you'll need a relationship with Him if you want your instincts to function properly.
2) Read The Scriptures To Develop Your Spider-Sense
Just by reading the Bible over and over, I have been permanently cured of the naive and false belief that all humans are good, kind, and well-adjusted individuals. This is a good thing because virgins (whether they are first-born or resurrected) who are naive usually get bent over or ridden like a donkey by the first crafty player/playeress who gets them alone. If you're just starting off, though, simply take a week to read through the gospels and the Holy Spirit will reward your diligence by sharpening your "Spider-Sense."
3) Pay Attention To Any Signs Or Feelings That Someone Is "Off"
No matter how charming (or smoking hot) somebody is, stay away from them if you sense that something is amiss. Remember, even crocodiles and hyenas can smile: many of the most evil people whom I've ever met were extremely charming and charismatic up until the day that they screwed me over in other areas of my life. If you let a player/playeress charm you into ignoring the alerts that your "Spider-Sense" is giving you, then they will literally screw you over a desk, a table, a bed, or some other piece of furniture before they tell their equally perverted friends about how they ate your V-card for dinner and your Christian witness for dessert.
4) Understand That Your "Spider-Sense" Isn't Fullproof
Spiderman's archenemy was Venom, a villain with similar powers who could not be detected with his "Spider-Sense." Like Spiderman, every person who is dedicated to a life of purity has a "Venom", a player/playeress who is capable of ambushing them without being detected. This archenemy can also be known as their "type." I've figured out that my Venoms tend to be playeresses who dress and act like quiet, modest, maidens of virtue as a ploy to get their targets to lower their defenses before luring them into illicit relationships. I call these women and their male counterparts "Antichristians" because they counterfeit aspects of the Christian faith to accomplish their own perverted ends. For this reason, be sure to take the next word of advice seriously, which is:
5) Ask God For Wisdom
Remember, even if we are saved, we can still make mistakes. That's why I always ask God how to relate to a particular girl, even if she doesn't set off my Spider-Sense. Doing so will not only allow you to keep your V-card, but it will save you the aggravation of dating, courting, or marrying a member of the opposite gender who you're not a good fit for.
James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." (NIV)
I know a young man who has stayed a virgin up until now because he has trusted his instincts. I'll just call him Marty. An attractive young lady approached him after a training session at one of his previous jobs. She immediately started telling him about how much she liked him and his demeanor and continued to flatter him at work afterwards. Marty considered asking her out, but his "Spider-Sense" told him to not to. He remained polite, but didn't talk to her outside of work. As it turns out, he wasn't the only man who impressed this girl because within months of meeting her, she became pregnant out-of-wedlock with some other guy.
Now, I'm not saying that every woman that you meet wants to baby-trap you (or that every man who approaches you just wants to use you as a one night stand if you are a woman). I'm simply saying that if your instincts tell you that someone is "off", you better pay attention. In the same way that Marty's "Spider-Sense" saved his V-card and allowed him to avoid baby momma drama, so can your instincts save you from a lot of trouble.
So how do you develop your Christian "Spider-Sense" so that you can detect threats to your V-card?
1) Submit Your Life To Christ.
Because of sin, the "Spider-Sense" that we have has become corrupted. Since He is the only One who can repair it, you'll need a relationship with Him if you want your instincts to function properly.
2) Read The Scriptures To Develop Your Spider-Sense
Just by reading the Bible over and over, I have been permanently cured of the naive and false belief that all humans are good, kind, and well-adjusted individuals. This is a good thing because virgins (whether they are first-born or resurrected) who are naive usually get bent over or ridden like a donkey by the first crafty player/playeress who gets them alone. If you're just starting off, though, simply take a week to read through the gospels and the Holy Spirit will reward your diligence by sharpening your "Spider-Sense."
3) Pay Attention To Any Signs Or Feelings That Someone Is "Off"
No matter how charming (or smoking hot) somebody is, stay away from them if you sense that something is amiss. Remember, even crocodiles and hyenas can smile: many of the most evil people whom I've ever met were extremely charming and charismatic up until the day that they screwed me over in other areas of my life. If you let a player/playeress charm you into ignoring the alerts that your "Spider-Sense" is giving you, then they will literally screw you over a desk, a table, a bed, or some other piece of furniture before they tell their equally perverted friends about how they ate your V-card for dinner and your Christian witness for dessert.
4) Understand That Your "Spider-Sense" Isn't Fullproof
Spiderman's archenemy was Venom, a villain with similar powers who could not be detected with his "Spider-Sense." Like Spiderman, every person who is dedicated to a life of purity has a "Venom", a player/playeress who is capable of ambushing them without being detected. This archenemy can also be known as their "type." I've figured out that my Venoms tend to be playeresses who dress and act like quiet, modest, maidens of virtue as a ploy to get their targets to lower their defenses before luring them into illicit relationships. I call these women and their male counterparts "Antichristians" because they counterfeit aspects of the Christian faith to accomplish their own perverted ends. For this reason, be sure to take the next word of advice seriously, which is:
5) Ask God For Wisdom
Remember, even if we are saved, we can still make mistakes. That's why I always ask God how to relate to a particular girl, even if she doesn't set off my Spider-Sense. Doing so will not only allow you to keep your V-card, but it will save you the aggravation of dating, courting, or marrying a member of the opposite gender who you're not a good fit for.
James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." (NIV)
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Raphael's Folly: The Danger Of Fighting The Battle For Purity On Your Own
The number one reason why I started training in the martial arts is because of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In particular, I loved the live-action movies of the early 90's. Even though my favorite turtle growing up was Donatello, the one I had the most in common with was Raphael, a.k.a. "Raph."
In those movies, Raph was the bravest and toughest of the four ninja turtle brothers. However, he was also bad-tempered and headstrong. In particular, Raph often clashed with Leonardo (a.k.a. "Leo"), the leader of the group. In the first two movies, Raph stormed off on his own after getting into altercations with Leo, only to wind up battling the Foot Clan all by himself. While he would be able to fight them off for a while, the Foot eventually overwhelmed him through sheer numbers. In the first movie, the Foot beat Raph into a coma. In the second movie, they captured him and turned him over to The Shredder, who used Raph as bait in a trap that almost got his brothers killed.
Many Christians who embark on the journey of marital MMA are like Raph. They want to use their toughness and bravery to fight for what's right, but get frustrated when their fellow believers don't see eye-to-eye with them. This frustration often leads to them to storm off, and try to battle the "Immoral Foot Clan" on their own. While they do hold out for a while, the "Foot" is so numerous that these Christians either get beaten into a coma (i.e., lose their V-card) or captured by Satan, our "spiritual Shredder" (i.e., trapped in a pornography/"romance e-book" addiction or in an illicit relationship).
So if you are tempted to fight your temptations on your own as a Christian "Raph", bear in mind the following things before you take on the players/playeresses of the "Immoral Foot Clan" without your brothers and sisters.
1) Players/Playeresses Target The Weak (And Alone=Weak)
Whenever I have been tempted by a playeress, she was either:
a) A lot hotter than me
b) A lot smarter than me
c) A lot wealthier than me
d) A lot more popular than me
Sometimes, she was all of the above! Likewise, guys who seduce girls tend to have similar leverage over them. The important thing you need to understand is that players/playeresses aren't looking for a "fair fight." They are playing to win. Period. So they usually pick easy targets (i.e. the pastor's daughter who has left home for the first time in her life to go to school or the male recent Christian college grad at work who has never experienced more than part-time employment in a secular environment). And players/playeresses know instinctively that the easiest targets are the lonely targets because they have no one to come to their rescue if they are overwhelmed.
2) Players/Playeresses Cheat To Win
Again, "fair fight" is not in the vocabulary of a player/playeress! Most of the playeresses I have encountered used some kind of dirty trick in an attempt to get me into a compromising position. The most common one was inviting me to hang out "just as friends" so that they could come on to me the instant that they got me alone. Their male counterparts use a similar trick in which they pretend to actually want a relationship with a girl when the only thing they want to get to know is her vajayjay. Players/playeresses know that if they are honest about their intentions, the "good girls/guys" who they want to conquer will run in the opposite direction. So players/playeresses "fight dirty" by deceiving and manipulating you until they earn your trust. Then they will turn you out and make you look stupid in front of your Christian peers. If that fails, these men and women will simply get you rip-roaring drunk and take advantage of you.
3) Players/Playeresses Hunt In Packs
I have almost NEVER been tempted sexually by a playeress who was acting on her own. Most of the time, the playeress got 2-3 of her playeress bffs to help her pressure me into "hanging out" with them. Some playeresses will even get their sisters (or, in extreme cases, their MOTHER) to help them lure a guy into a compromising position (if you are a guy and this ever happens to you, RUN!).
Their male counterparts also hunt in packs, but in a different sense. Most players know that if they and 2-3 of their buddies approach an unsuspecting girl at a mall, she'll run away and call the police. So instead, a male player will usually invite his intended target and her friends to a house or frat party where his "wing men" will pick off her bffs one by one until he gets her alone. At this point, through charm, experience, and leveraging his assets (i.e. the fact that he is hotter, smarter, richer, and/or more popular than her), he will have her V-card for dinner and her Christian witness for breakfast!
Did I forget to mention that "fair fight" is not in the vocabulary of a player/playeress?
Like Raph, you may be a loner by nature and want to fight the battle of purity on your own. Nonetheless, you should try to join forces with fellow Christians anyway. It won't be easy. Very often, your Christian brothers and sisters will be as bossy as Leonardo, as immature as Michelangelo, or irritating know-it-alls like Donatello. Nonetheless, if they are as dedicated to a life of purity as you are, then they will have your back when the "Immoral Foot Clan" comes to clean your clock.
Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." (NIV)
In those movies, Raph was the bravest and toughest of the four ninja turtle brothers. However, he was also bad-tempered and headstrong. In particular, Raph often clashed with Leonardo (a.k.a. "Leo"), the leader of the group. In the first two movies, Raph stormed off on his own after getting into altercations with Leo, only to wind up battling the Foot Clan all by himself. While he would be able to fight them off for a while, the Foot eventually overwhelmed him through sheer numbers. In the first movie, the Foot beat Raph into a coma. In the second movie, they captured him and turned him over to The Shredder, who used Raph as bait in a trap that almost got his brothers killed.
Many Christians who embark on the journey of marital MMA are like Raph. They want to use their toughness and bravery to fight for what's right, but get frustrated when their fellow believers don't see eye-to-eye with them. This frustration often leads to them to storm off, and try to battle the "Immoral Foot Clan" on their own. While they do hold out for a while, the "Foot" is so numerous that these Christians either get beaten into a coma (i.e., lose their V-card) or captured by Satan, our "spiritual Shredder" (i.e., trapped in a pornography/"romance e-book" addiction or in an illicit relationship).
So if you are tempted to fight your temptations on your own as a Christian "Raph", bear in mind the following things before you take on the players/playeresses of the "Immoral Foot Clan" without your brothers and sisters.
1) Players/Playeresses Target The Weak (And Alone=Weak)
Whenever I have been tempted by a playeress, she was either:
a) A lot hotter than me
b) A lot smarter than me
c) A lot wealthier than me
d) A lot more popular than me
Sometimes, she was all of the above! Likewise, guys who seduce girls tend to have similar leverage over them. The important thing you need to understand is that players/playeresses aren't looking for a "fair fight." They are playing to win. Period. So they usually pick easy targets (i.e. the pastor's daughter who has left home for the first time in her life to go to school or the male recent Christian college grad at work who has never experienced more than part-time employment in a secular environment). And players/playeresses know instinctively that the easiest targets are the lonely targets because they have no one to come to their rescue if they are overwhelmed.
2) Players/Playeresses Cheat To Win
Again, "fair fight" is not in the vocabulary of a player/playeress! Most of the playeresses I have encountered used some kind of dirty trick in an attempt to get me into a compromising position. The most common one was inviting me to hang out "just as friends" so that they could come on to me the instant that they got me alone. Their male counterparts use a similar trick in which they pretend to actually want a relationship with a girl when the only thing they want to get to know is her vajayjay. Players/playeresses know that if they are honest about their intentions, the "good girls/guys" who they want to conquer will run in the opposite direction. So players/playeresses "fight dirty" by deceiving and manipulating you until they earn your trust. Then they will turn you out and make you look stupid in front of your Christian peers. If that fails, these men and women will simply get you rip-roaring drunk and take advantage of you.
3) Players/Playeresses Hunt In Packs
I have almost NEVER been tempted sexually by a playeress who was acting on her own. Most of the time, the playeress got 2-3 of her playeress bffs to help her pressure me into "hanging out" with them. Some playeresses will even get their sisters (or, in extreme cases, their MOTHER) to help them lure a guy into a compromising position (if you are a guy and this ever happens to you, RUN!).
Their male counterparts also hunt in packs, but in a different sense. Most players know that if they and 2-3 of their buddies approach an unsuspecting girl at a mall, she'll run away and call the police. So instead, a male player will usually invite his intended target and her friends to a house or frat party where his "wing men" will pick off her bffs one by one until he gets her alone. At this point, through charm, experience, and leveraging his assets (i.e. the fact that he is hotter, smarter, richer, and/or more popular than her), he will have her V-card for dinner and her Christian witness for breakfast!
Did I forget to mention that "fair fight" is not in the vocabulary of a player/playeress?
Like Raph, you may be a loner by nature and want to fight the battle of purity on your own. Nonetheless, you should try to join forces with fellow Christians anyway. It won't be easy. Very often, your Christian brothers and sisters will be as bossy as Leonardo, as immature as Michelangelo, or irritating know-it-alls like Donatello. Nonetheless, if they are as dedicated to a life of purity as you are, then they will have your back when the "Immoral Foot Clan" comes to clean your clock.
Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." (NIV)
Sunday, August 17, 2014
And The #1 Reason Why Christians Don't Succeed In Staying Pure Before Marriage Is Because...
They don't want to.
It's as simple as that.
Staying pure so that you can experience "The Sexual Force Unleashed" and "Romantic World Peace" within a Christ-centered marriage requires discipline, hard work, and focus. It's very similar to studying the martial arts in that it's a LIFELONG process. Just like you have to practice DAILY to develop your ability to defend yourself from a physical attack, you also have to practice DAILY to develop your ability to defend your V-card and your marriage from attacks by forbidden sexual temptations. When many Christians realize the sacrifices that they will have to make to live a life of purity, they decide that it's more trouble than it's worth and they give up. Unfortunately, this leaves them completely defenseless when they are actually attacked. A martial artist who experiences an attack which they did not prepare for normally winds up seriously injured or dead. Likewise, a Christian who does not prepare for the violent attacks of forbidden desires will wind up with a sexuality that is either seriously injured or dead.
On top of that, many Christians know that forbidden sex is wrong, but want to experience it anyway because it seems fun. These are the Christians who claim that they can "play" without "going all the way." They are the spiritual equivalents of martial artists who know that they shouldn't hang out in bars/nightclubs or go out alone on car dates with strangers, but choose to do it anyway because it's fun. These Christians believe that, like their black belt counterparts, they can "handle it" if things get out of hand. Unfortunately, like the guy who winds up getting jumped by 20 bikers because he said the wrong thing about their leader's mother, or the girl who gets pinned to the backseat of her date's car because she got hammered with the wrong person, these Christians wind up in over their head. Sometimes, they escape with their V-cards intact and their future marriages unscathed. Most of the time, they don't.
In all likelihood, these Christians wanted to "fail" all along and deliberately stacked the deck against themselves so that they would have an excuse to sin. That way, they can enjoy the forbidden pleasure of their sin and deny responsibility for their actions by blaming the heartless, evil, conniving player/playeress who "seduced them" (and leave out the fact that they secretly desired that person all along). It's only when the consequences of their actions (like STDs and baby momma drama) come after them like a gang of biker thugs or a drunk date who's interested in nonconsensual love that these Christians express regret for what they did. And even then, those consequences aren't always enough to keep them from doing it again.
If you truly love Christ, you will obey His commandments about romance and sex and stay pure before, during, and after marriage. Like a wise martial artist, not only will you properly train to defend yourself from the forbidden temptations which want to kill you. You will also save yourself a lot of pain and suffering by avoiding dangerous situations to begin with. If you do these things, not only will you experience the power of human fusion by truly becoming one with your spouse. God will also allow you to lead others to saving faith in Jesus through the sacred starlight of your Christ-centered marriage.
John 14: 15 "If you love me, keep my commands." (NIV)
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